Whether as an underlying tone or overtly stated, the theme of my blogs are always about change.  My last blog didn't feel complete, I thought it rambled a bit and didn't fully articulate some of the points.  It left me feeling like I should apologize for posting thoughts that weren't fully formed.  But as I reflected further, I realized that less than fully formed thoughts are part of the change process.

Precisely what makes change difficult is not knowing--is not having a fully formed sense of where we're going.  Isn't that what we're facing right now as a nation?  And doesn't that uncertainty extend beyond our borders to the global community as a whole?  We expect our new President to have the answers, to lead us back to something we're familiar with.  But I sense that Barack Obama understands that change is a process and the shear magnitude of our difficulties means that returning to a comfort zone will take some time.

To be honest, we don't ever return to anything.  The comfort zone we establish will be formed from new realizations as the unknown is revealed through the process of the future becoming the present.  Time and all things move in only one direction, forward.

Which is why I believe partially formed thoughts are acceptable and a means of shaping the future as it unfolds.  If I haven't convinced you yet, consider that the continuous action of cause and effect are at the base of our evolving future.  That's because everything we do can be seen as actions.  Each of us and everything in this physical reality are interacting and interconnected to a future that is continuously revealing itself in the present moment.  So the future is not a concept divorced from our present reality, it's a set of constantly changing probabilities that through our actions we have a hand in creating.

All change can be seen as an opportunity to learn something new.  In fact, any change that directly affects us makes an overt demand on us to learn from our experience.  Now, do we learn from every experience?  No.  Frequently a part of life is having the same experiences again and again until we start to learn something from it.  Have you had this experience of life seeming to repeat itself?  If you have that's a good sign, you're starting to wake up!

Waking up eventually brings us to this monumental awareness: what we think, determines how we act!  The implication is that if we want to change our actions we have to first change our thinking.  This is easy to say, but far harder to do.  The first issue is to become aware of what we're thinking.  The second issue is to what are we going to change our thinking?  This raises questions about how can we know what we don't know?  The third issue is all the psychological barriers--fear, a sense of control, and the need to know--that arise as soon as we begin to even contemplate changing our thinking.  [All of these issues are critical to our ability to change and have been addressed in the Everything Changes! series that can be found in the archives of this blog beginning back in July '08.]

As I thought about what I was trying to communicate in my last blog "Are we addicted to money?"  I realized that I was using partial thoughts to get us to question a reality that is undergoing change.  We need to think about money--the things it does for us--and how we feel when we perceive that we have less of it.  But something even more important emerged from my query and that was the thought to approach the subject of our thinking from an entirely different angle.

That angle is to look at what informs our thinking.  In other words, where does our thinking come from?  In Everything Changes! I talk about our senses collecting data from our surroundings, but a lot of what our senses pick-up are the systems that we've put in place.  Systems theory isn't a new idea, but my thought as it relates to systems isn't about analyzing them as much as it's about recognizing how these systems inform our thinking.

For example, the lifeblood of an economic system is money.  We don't have to be told this it's readily apparent the first time we walk into a store.  Our observations shape our thinking and this thinking begins to define our actions.  Since meeting even our most basic needs takes money, we've associated money with survival.  From the perspective of a system that informs our thinking it seems almost absurd to ask; Are we addicted to money?  Only from a perspective that is attempting to think outside this system does that question start to make any sense.

How can we change our world?  It's our actions that create consequences and produce outcomes.  To change the outcome we have to change our actions.  But our actions are driven by the systems that inform our thinking and as long as those systems remain in place our thinking will remain unchanged and our actions will continue to produce the same old outcomes.

This economic crisis signals a change in the economic system.  It's an opportunity to see how the system has informed our thinking and driven our actions.  Our thinking is represented by things such as expectations, future projections, carefully laid plans for our economic future, etc.  So what happens when the system takes a hit and our hopes and expectations take a hit along with it?  This is a time when we need to be better informed about the impact that change has on us.  I'm suggesting that any questions about the system we've relied upon to inform our thinking are healthy.  And these questions are at the root of any change in our thinking and the product of different outcomes resulting from changes in our actions.

Thanks for reading!  If you have a comment or question please send it to me.  Dan.

As I've said many times, change presents an opportunity to look deeper into ourselves.  It represents a chance to 'wake-up' to a reality that wasn't part of our prior conscious awareness.  The opportunity to expand our awareness comes not from a closer examination of our surroundings, but from a closer examination of how we are interacting with our surroundings.

The changes associated with the global financial crisis are presenting us with a rare opportunity to glimpse a little bit of our relationship to money.  If it weren't for the shake up we would never have a chance to see just how addicted we are to money.  Addicted?  Does describing our relationship to money as addicted seem a little strong?

Well, maybe, but isn't the definition of an addiction something you can't live without?  In the case of money, we don't think of it as an addiction as long as we're getting a regular income fix.  It's only when our income stream is interrupted that are we given the chance to recognize our dependence.  This is not to say that money isn't used responsibly, and in many cases even generously, but we are living at a time when just about everything we do takes money.  Don't we all need money to pay for food, clothing and shelter?  Of course we do.  And it's only natural that because of this we become attached to money.

Think about the role that money plays in our lives psychologically.  Money provides us with a sense of control.  Money affords us the power to buy the things we need to control our environment.  Money is an insulator.  It insulates us from our problems--we can avoid addressing a situation and simply pay to have it fixed.  Money often insulates us from others.  If you don't like your neighbors build a fence, driving a car insulates us from riding the bus.  Money can even insulate us from ourselves.  For example, having money can lead to a false sense of power, this privilege can result in actions that are wasteful, arrogant or greedy while we remain oblivious to these perceptions of ourselves.  …I wonder if the governor of Illinois is seeing his relationship with money any clearer after his indictment?

So what happens psychologically when we don't have the money to insulate ourselves and control our environment?  From my own experience the spectrum can range from being uncomfortable to terrified.  As I look back on it, I've been trying to understand my relationship with money since before I was even an adult.  I majored in business and went into finance, I thought that working in finance would teach me everything there was to know about money.  I could already see that one needed to make more money than it took to pay for basic needs (rent, food, clothing, transportation).  Having disposable income was the answer to generating savings that could be used for special purchases or investments.  Smart people know that investing is a way for a little money to turn into a lot of money because money makes money!

I followed those basic tenants through the early years of my career and if I say so myself was pretty successful.  But there were problems.  I didn't find the world of large corporations--the posturing and back-stabbing--all that appealing.  In fact, as I rose into the ranks of management I was appalled by the petty, immature behavior exhibited by some senior executives.  I hated the way management treated people--as if they didn't have feelings, or lives outside their jobs, or even a glimmer of recognition that their people were the ones directly responsible for the daily successes of the company.  It was all about money.  And I must say, if you could just close your eyes to the immorality and shoddy ethics, the money was good!  So good, in fact, that I thought it was easy to make money…in hindsight I still had a lot to learn.

It didn't take a lot of deliberation for me to step off the corporate merry-go-round, the problem was what was I going to do?  If money is easy to make how was I going to do it without a job?  I ended up starting my own business.  I worked harder than I'd ever worked before…but the income from my new company only managed to pay the operating expenses.  After three years it was still barely paying the overhead and that didn't include paying anything to myself.  I had been playing the asset liquidation game--using the cash and investments I'd accumulated over the previous ten years to keep up the lifestyle to which we'd become accustomed.  Eventually those assets would run out.

At the time it seemed like there was a lot of complexity to my situation.  It wasn't simply an economic problem.  In addition to struggling to establish a new income stream, I was simultaneously experiencing some sort of spiritual awakening… I witnessed a lot of synchronicity--timing, events, and people who came into my life.  I was drawn to and began a daily meditation practice that continues to this day.  I stopped consuming alcohol.  For a period of time I withdrew from the activities of the outer world and focused on just "Being."  Eventually, time brought the pieces together but it was only in looking back that I had some sense of my path as it had unfolded.

I like to say I never really learned anything about money until I didn't have any.  Only in hindsight would it become clear that I'd been led to test the assumption many of us have that without money you're dead.  It turns out you don't die…but you are sort of figuratively 'dead' to all those people who do have money and are spending it lavishly it to keep up their image and lifestyle.

Not having money may not kill you, but I soon discovered I still needed money to meet my basic needs.  Learning to live with a lot less money really helps you focus on the difference between needs and wants.  I can honestly say that over these past eighteen or nineteen years my needs have always been met.  And if you think about your own situation, I bet you could make the same statement.  Oh, sure, it's rarely, if ever, like you imagined, often times it isn't pretty, still if you pay close attention--however you're able to make it--it works out and that's all that matters.

Many people believe the answer to money is to have so much you never have to worry about it…that would be the fervent belief of regular lottery players.  And who among us hasn't occasionally fantasized about what it'd be like to win millions?  But the tales of actual lottery winners suggest something else.  People who win the lottery soon discover that having all that money creates more problems and heartache than it's worth.  For many their fantasy of having a lot of money turns into a nightmare.

In my experience the more money you have, the more you worry about losing it.  Having a lot of money does free you from worrying about meeting your basic needs.  But that luxury brings with it the very real responsibility of managing your money--keeping it growing, keeping it safe, fending off all the leeches that want a piece of what you have…  And then there's the constant temptation to use it…after all what's the point of having money if not to spend it?  But the more stuff you have the more money it takes for upkeep and maintenance.  And finally, as income rises so does our standard of living.  It's almost a physical impossibility to not want more or better quality things as our income rises.

Robert Kiyosaki in his book, "Rich Dad, Poor Dad," shared an interesting piece of advice, he said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "You'll never have any money until you learn to control your desire."  Well, his book is all about becoming financially independent, but we can learn something from this thought if we look at it from a different perspective.

It's not really money that we need to master, this life journey is about learning to master ourselves.  The relationships we have with money, with each other, with the planet…are all opportunities to discover more about ourselves.  From this perspective it doesn't matter whether you have a lot of money or no money because it's not about money, it's about expanding conscious awareness of ourselves.

The way we think drives our actions and shapes our experience.  Our experience compels our thinking and further drives our actions giving rise to still more experience.  And around and around we go never able to really discern cause from effect amid continuous motion.

So what's the answer?  Just as it's difficult, if not impossible, to separate cause from effect, it's equally impossible to separate ourselves from the relationship we have with everything in our surroundings.  Our relationship with money is no exception.  Money is simply a medium of exchange it has no inherent good or bad properties.  The qualities we attribute to money are assigned by us--we animate and give meaning to money because we cannot avoid having a relationship with it.

The key is to recognize that our inner relationship--what we've been able to learn about ourselves--is the basis for our relationship with everything in our surroundings, including money.  So inquiring into our relationship with money is one way of mirroring back to us how well we know ourselves...

To accept what is from the ego's perspective is the equivalent of giving up.  But are we really giving up?

We put a lot of stock in dreams--the things we imagine that we want.  Sometimes these dreams come true, and this we equate to living life to its fullest.  By default the opposite--not fulfilling our dreams--is often associated with not living life to its fullest.  This can result in feeling empty and dissatisfied with our lives.

So where do dreams come from?  Perhaps from what Daniel Quinn referred to in his book Ishmael, as the whisperings of Mother Culture.  The whisperings he referred to aren't written down anywhere, yet they are practically universal in our awareness.  Two cornerstones of American culture have been freedom and ownership.

Immigrants left Europe for the freedom to practice the religion of their choice and the opportunity to own land.  These ideals have been realized and carried forward to the present.  A modern day example is the dream of owning your own home.  In the process we've attributed power and status to our possessions.  And naturally in a free-market economy, money has become the means and life-blood of granting all our dreams.

Without money our path to fulfillment appears blocked.  Ask yourself this question: Would Barack Obama be our president-elect today without some of the most prodigious fundraising in campaign history?  Certainly the man's character, his presence, and wise judgment have something to do with his election, but without the money to provide the means to demonstrate these fine qualities would the outcome have been the same?

Today we are witnessing historic events as the biggest financial institutions require unprecedented capital infusions.  Has the irony of this situation hit home?  The people with all the money--the people who never imagined they'd need money--are the ones now being given billion dollar infusions to prevent their collapse and ultimate demise.  These are the very same people who sit in judgment of our creditworthiness--the ones who decide whether we are worthy of receiving the money needed to pursue our dreams.

Now the automakers who've made fortunes from enticing us to dream and selling us their cars are on the verge of bankruptcy.  They're begging for money to stave off their demise.

Money never means as much as when you don't have any…or when you don't have enough!

So what's the point of all these observations?

First, what changes around us provides us with a mirror into ourselves.  It's an opportunity for us to change as well.  Is money the means to our salvation?  Is it the only means to our fulfillment?  And if it is, how much is enough?  Where do we draw the line between meeting our needs and seeking a level of affluence that rapidly becomes arrogant and wasteful?

Second, for the past two decades economic expansion has been largely driven with the creation of debt.  Easy credit has given us exactly what we thought we wanted…the money to pursue our dreams.  But this easy money has a nasty way of turning into a nightmare.  Just ask anyone who jumped into the white hot real estate market only to get burned by adjustable rate mortgages and grossly inflated values.  Using other people's money seems like a great way to get what we don't have, but remember it's only one interpretation of living life to the fullest.

Third, nothing in our existence is independent of everything else.  Sure, money makes us feel independent, but all money comes from somewhere.  Do you wish your bank had failed so perhaps your mortgage could have been cancelled along with it?  It never works that way.  Your debt is someone else's asset, and that person, institution, or investor is very serious about getting their money back with interest. 

But this is where we need to recognize our interdependence.  Your ability to repay what you owe is dependent on your source of income--typically your job.  Which is dependent on your employer continuing to have a viable product or service, the sale of which, provides the revenue to pay you.  Do you see?  Ultimately, the closer we come to recognizing our interdependence the less value we will place on hoarding wealth and the more disdain we will have for personal greed.

What do you think?

You might think that with all the change stemming from the unfolding global financial crisis that understanding the fundamentals of change would seem a little more relevant right now…  But for the vast majority of people their only real desire is to get back to the way it was.  We get comfortable with our routines and with what we know.  When the unknown looms in front of us our only desire is to get back to the comfort and safety of the known.  And we'll do everything in our power to make that happen.  I know because I've observed it in others and witnessed my own reactions to the unknown.

Well, what's wrong with trying to convert the unknown back to the known?  Is there anything particularly instructive about hanging out in the unknown?  There can be, but only if you can get beyond your fear of not knowing.  The unknown presents us with a natural opportunity to increase awareness of ourselves.  For example, it helps us get a clearer picture of fear and how it influences our actions.  It can help us tune into what we're really afraid of.  And it can help us see that there are times when events really are beyond our control.  Awareness of these realities can help us temper some of the stress and unnecessary worry running through our minds.

Depending on how deep you want to go the unknown can even be seen as a doorway to the experience of something bigger than ourselves.  As people we are often unable to see beyond our direct interaction with the physical world.  As a result we believe that everything in our experience can be manipulated to our benefit.  From this perspective life should always be fun, we shouldn't have to experience unpleasantness, or go without anything we desire.  This, of course, is a fairy tale version of life.  We all can and have experienced challenges, hard times and difficulties.  

So why do we experience these things that we wouldn't otherwise choose?  Could it be there is something beyond our current awareness--something that is trying to get our attention?  Can we accept the possibility that life has purpose beyond what the senses can detect?  Is there some higher intelligence that weaves its thread through our lives?  In my experience there is, and it's in those times when we don't know, that we are most open to the possibility of a higher intelligence weaving itself through the fabric of our lives.

Without faith in a higher intelligence we are left to carry the weight of the world--everything depends on you and me.  But neither are we absolved from responsibility for our actions.  We act within our sphere of influence, but allow for and acknowledge events beyond our control.  This balanced approach allows for events beyond our control and yet still allows us to interact responsibly within our surroundings.

Could there be more to the unknown than meets the eye?

There has to come a point in our awareness where we look beyond the surface events for something bigger than us.  That inner voice you hear--the one that makes the most noise and is your toughest critic; is the voice of your lower self.  More commonly referred to as the ego.  It's your ego that experiences fear.  It's your ego that is most vocal in matters of a sensory nature.  What I referred to in the Everything Changes! series as our internal operating system could also be referred to as the ego.  I didn't call it that because the term has become such a cliché that proper understanding of its function is easily lost in translation.  No one is without an ego because proper psychological functioning depends on having one.  That being said, if we are to realize anything beyond the surface appearances of our sensory impressions, then we must work to understand the ego's reactions and where appropriate learn to override some of its automatic responses.  Like its aversion to the unknown…


Note to reader:  Thanks for reading!  If you have comments or questions please feel free to respond.

With the Dow Jones dropping another 500 points yesterday the panic on Wall Street is rising.  Most people think the stock market is a place where you put your money and it grows.  And over relatively long periods of time--10, 15 or 20 years--stocks have shown a higher rate of return than you could get by keeping your money in the bank.  But with higher returns comes higher risk and the stock market is no exception.

There's a couple problems with the stock market.  First, any investment in stocks is a bet on the future.  How's the clarity of your crystal ball?  Most people only see what they want to believe about the future.  Second, the value of a company's stock only partially reflects the relative financial health and strength of the company.  The rest of the value equation is driven by market psychology--the beliefs held by investors who are again betting on a future they can only guess at.  Right now that market psychology is being driven by panic over the credit crisis, which started with the sub-prime mortgage mess.  Third, people tend to look at their market portfolio and forget that all gains and losses are on paper.   Meaning that you don't realize a loss or gain until you actually sell the stock.  Of course, this doesn't keep people from panicking over paper losses and turning them into the real thing by selling.

Q: Ok, so how can we use what we've learned about change to help us deal with this situation?

In the last blog we talked about how we use money to feel like we're in control.  Losing money then equates to a loss of control and directly contributes to feelings of stress and anxiety.  Remember in the Everything Changes! series we said that our senses contribute heavily to our attention being fixated on our external surroundings.  Our internal operating system (IOS) in turn uses the feedback from our senses to maintain a sense of control over the outer environment.  But what happens when we can't control the outer environment?  This financial crisis is a classic example of external circumstances beyond our control.

The first thing our IOS does is automatically attempt to regain control of the outer environment.  In this situation a common reaction would be to get out of the stock market regardless of the loss.  But a deeper understanding of our internal operating system suggests that we switch modes of control.  Instead of trying to control the external environment we shift our focus to how our internal operating system is reacting and work to control our response.  This change from being driven by outer events to an inward focus enables us to check ourselves at the point of our thinking.  Remember we said that thoughts precede our outer actions, and it's our outer actions that produce real consequences.  When we switch to an inward focus we suspend the automatic reaction of our IOS and have time to think about the consequences of our actions.

Our reaction to change is a reaction to the unknown.  Suddenly what we thought we knew becomes an unknown.  This is destabilizing, it's uncomfortable and it creates stress and anxiety.  But it helps to remember that what changes around us, invites (and in some cases demands) us to change as well.  A big part of our sense of control comes from what we know.  Do we know what the future will bring?  We simply cannot.  It helps to remember that we don't know everything, that life is a mystery that is continuously unfolding, and not to get too stuck on a version that is based solely on our individual expectations.

In times like these when many of us will be tested, we need to remember something that I've been taught through my own experience… There is always a way!  In the darkest hour when the path forward is completely obscured we continue to learn by putting one foot in front of the other.  Don't make the tragic mistake of people who think there is nothing left to live for…  We are never given a challenge bigger than we can handle.  The reward for enduring the darkness is the light that always follows.

To change we must learn, and to learn we must be willing to entertain new ideas.  Where new ideas are concerned it's best to experiment with the concept--thereby avoiding the usual traps of getting stuck in the known or falling prey to blind acceptance.  By experimenting we remain open to possibility while testing ideas for validity through direct experience.  When faced with the unknown, answers are not always apparent but rather are revealed with the passage of time.  What we learn in the process is the knowledge that propels us to still further destinations along the path.

This much I know, no matter the challenge, nor the seeming impossibility…there is always a way!


Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  I welcome your thoughts, comments and input.  DR

Since completing the posting of the Everything Changes! series I've been thinking about what to do next.  What came to mind fairly quickly was applying the principals from this series to real changes.  One of the things I had hoped for in writing the course was that people might take the fundamentals and see if they could spot them at work in their direct experience.  However, I would be the first to acknowledge that some of the concepts are so closely aligned with our being that they're very difficult to detect.

One small example is the title of the series…Everything Changes!  On one level of consciousness we know that things change.  But frequently it's far more comfortable to think that things don't change.  People don't change, government and politicians don't change, life itself doesn't change.  Heck, some of us don't even want to acknowledge climate change…or at least that there is man-made involvement in climate change.  But this is just another example of being more comfortable with the belief that things don't change.

From our discussion of change we know that actions create change.  But we don't perceive the change in every action because many of our actions are aimed at keeping things the same.  In recent weeks our attention has been riveted to the financial crisis unfolding on Wall Street.  Here looms a change and a challenge to our financial system that hasn't been seen since the Great Depression.

Q: What was the government's response to this seemingly overnight financial crisis?

The immediate response was to prevent a massive financial collapse.  Aside from whether we think an unprecedented $700 Billion dollar bailout with taxpayer's money was warranted, the point I want to make is it represents an attempt to keep things the same--to prevent this change from mushrooming into even greater change.  Is that a bad thing?  No, I think it's far better than doing nothing.  However, it was interesting that as soon as the bailout got approved we had many financial pundits claiming the bailout wouldn't improve the markets anytime soon.  And indeed the crisis seems to be expanding to a global credit crunch, with various European governments now scrambling to shore up failing banks in their countries.  And the realization that the bailout will take time to work has resulted in further declines in stock values on Wall Street.

Q: Ok, this much we all know; but how can we utilize the fundamentals of change to understand how this all impacts us?

Remember how we talked about events that create a perceived unknown that in turn creates a sense of discomfort because we don't know how things are going to turn out?  This chain of events is the reason we resist change.  It's also the reason we take action to keep things unchanged.  We said these circumstances are intertwined with our need for control--with our need to feel as though we're in control of our environment.

When we talked about the need for control I acknowledged that it's such a seamless part of us that we often don't even recognize it until an event arises that threatens our sense of control.  These are the perceived changes that instinctively produce a reaction of discomfort from our internal operating system.  Every human being strives to establish a sense of control as a base from which to live and be.  We're not talking about "control freaks," we're talking about a fundamental need in everyone that can be translated into an internal sense of well-being.  Only in experiencing change are we shown a glimpse of this internal need.

Q: So how does our need for control become a factor in this financial crisis?

First we need to recognize that a Free Enterprise system is centered and focused on money.  Everything costs money from meeting basic needs for food, clothing and shelter to whatever else you can imagine.  Everything has a price and money is the means to acquiring it.  Under this scenario it's only natural that money becomes associated with control.  If you've got money you establish a measure of control over your environment.  When change does happen, money can insulate you from any problems that arise.

In this case it's the loss of money that erodes our sense of control.  Whether the loss comes in the form of declining home values or declines in the value of your 401K, the security blanket represented by the amount of money we have has lost some of its coverage.  As a result we feel as though we have less control over our circumstances.  The loss of control is even worse for a family facing the loss of their home through foreclosure.  Or for a small business depending on a line of credit to fund inventories, pay suppliers and make payroll.  If short-term credit is unavailable to meet these needs we face a domino effect in terms of further declines in economic activity, jobs and ultimately the ability to continue repaying our personal debt.

Q: Are there other ways we might look at this situation?

I believe there are and we'll look at a couple of those ways next time…


Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  As always, I welcome any thoughts, comments or input you might have on change or as it pertains to the subject of this blog.

With this segment we draw to a close the Everything Changes! series.  One of the main ideas in this course has been to get us looking at how we think--to look at how our internal operating system has been conditioned to automatically respond to the external changes that we experience.  The power generated through expanded self-awareness is in the increased freedom to choose.  By exercising more control over your IOS you are choosing to exercise a right that only you may access.  In this last segment we offer some thoughts on the power of positive thinking and offer yet another method for increasing awareness of our thinking…


The Power of Positive Thinking

S:  One of the patterns in our thinking is the tendency to be polarized, either positively or negatively.  Now, no one wants to believe his or her pattern of thinking is negative.  But let's face it, it's easier to spot what's wrong, than it is to spot what's right.  In fact, anytime we perceive change the problems are usually fairly obvious.  What's less obvious from the outset are any positive elements that may accompany the change.  Yet, this positive outlook is expressed in an old saying: "Every cloud has a silver lining."

Q:  How often do we recognize a positive benefit from a change that happened a while back?

A:  Unless we're looking, it's unusual to notice any.  But this is another way of subtly
working with our internal operating system.  If, for example, we adopt a belief that everything happens for a reason and a purpose, we're training our operating system to look for the reason.  If we look for an immediate reason it's likely to be negative.  Remember that the positive benefit in any situation usually takes some time to become apparent.  So clarify with yourself that you're looking for a positive reason and then have the patience to wait for it to show up.

Q:  Why do you suppose the positive reason isn't immediately obvious?

A:  The answer is in the fundamentals of change.  Every change involves circumstances that are only revealed with the passage of time.  In other words, every unknown becomes known over a period of time--"only time will tell."  When a change takes place it takes time for any positive benefits to become apparent.

Q:  How do we know there's a positive benefit in every situation?

A:  The only way to know for sure is to start looking.  The best kind of faith is faith that's earned.  Prove it to yourself.  Just remember that you have to give your internal operating system a new instruction.  You're training yourself to look for something that's previously gone unnoticed.  Be patient and yet firm in your expectation of a positive benefit and you'll know it when you see it.

S:  It's easier to be a pessimist than an optimist because our senses are naturally focused on immediate problems.  The programming of our internal operating system is heavily weighted toward the sensory input from our surroundings.  Our interpretation of the immediate circumstances can easily lead to an unbalanced perspective and a negative point of view.

Example:
As a father I began to notice that my first response to my kids wanting to do something was, no.  Of course, this wasn't the answer they wanted to hear so they would continue their quest for approval.  After bearing the brunt of a relentless onslaught my position would often slip to "well, maybe."  Sensing a crack in my resolve only intensified their efforts until I finally acquiesced.

Is this an example of bad parenting, habituated patterns of response or my dominant negative polarization?  Maybe all of the above.  But what I slowly began to notice about my pattern of response was the underlying thinking that drove it.  I needed time to adequately evaluate all the ramifications of their request.  My initial response of 'no' was based on not having had that time.

So after recognizing the pattern I stopped saying 'no' at the outset and instead said, 'let me think about it.'  In changing my response I was able to convey a truer measure of my thoughts and as you might imagine, the kids responded differently too.  'Let me think about it,' leaves room for possibility, it's not a wildly positive, yes, but neither is it a flatly negative, no.  This is a small example of how becoming more aware of our thoughts enables us to change our actions and create a new effect for us and the people with whom we interact.

S:  The negative perspective often assumes that a positive outlook is naive--one isn't really seeing the world as it is.  But this perspective implies its own interpretation of reality is more accurate.  In truth, neither outlook is more accurate simply because both are based on interpretation.  Instead, the question we ought to be asking ourselves is which outlook contributes more to a sense of well-being, and which contributes more to a sense of fear and anxiety? 

S:  Becoming aware of our predominant polarization is another means to gaining more control over our internal operating system.  Choosing to cultivate a more positive outlook is a conscious decision.  Without an awareness of this choice our internal operating system frequently defaults to a negative polarity.  It sees the problems, but it can't see the 'silver lining' because there hasn't been enough time for that to develop.  This is a big reason for our resistance to change--our internal operating system is reacting to the problem, rather than recognizing the problem as part of a process.  Does that make sense?

Q:  So if we trained ourselves not to react negatively by cultivating a more positive outlook, do you think this would have an impact on how we feel?

A:  It does.  By changing our outlook we're changing our thoughts (actions)--which leads to changing how we feel.  We haven't changed reality, we've simply made a different choice about how we're going to interpret our reality and this definitely affects how we feel.

S:  So what can we do to change our outlook?

A:  One of the best methods is to adopt some new thoughts.  Hasn't this been our theme--thoughts are at the center of our actions?  What we're talking about are new ways to interpret the events of our lives.  We're not changing reality--just choosing how we want to interpret it.  These ideas are based on expanded awareness.  They can provide us with another angle from which to view our experience.  I have found these helpful in my own journey, but you decide whether any of them resonate with you.  The whole idea is to utilize thoughts that open us to the potential of growth and that produce less stress and strain in our daily existence.

Affirming Thougts  
1. In each life there is destiny--living is the means to fulfilling it.
2. Accept responsibility for all that happens in your life.  Make no exceptions.
3. Each day the lessons we are here to learn arise naturally.
4. We are never given a challenge bigger than we can handle.
5. Everyday, cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life.
6. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose.
7. Use the change in life to learn about yourself--how you react and why.
8. We all make assumptions; be willing to explore a few of your own.
9. Choose to believe that every cloud contains a silver lining.
10. Expect the best, but be willing to accept what is.
11.  The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
12.  Remember, as a man or woman thinketh, so shall he or she become.
   
S:  It's interesting that we frequently think we want change.  But calling for change, even implementing change, is different from the process of undergoing change.  When we are faced with the fear and stress that change creates, we are called upon to exhibit patience and the ability to understand our internal operating system's reaction.  This kind of internal control has to be learned.

Without an expanded understanding of ourselves, we are left to assume that the way we are is the way it is.  But the way we are is based on the way we think.  Our assumptions are the thoughts driving our actions.  Without an understanding of how our internal operating system functions, there's little chance of changing our response to the experience of change.  Yet, this is the key to our advancement and to easing our difficulty with change.

Key Concept:  Developing a positive outlook aligns us with the natural flow of all things.  It doesn't mean we won't encounter problems, it means we work at solutions with the positive expectancy that all problems, given time, find resolution.


Keeping a Journal

S:  There is another way of becoming more aware of our thoughts.  It's a powerful method for pinpointing our feelings and identifying our thinking.  It may bring to the surface patterns of thought.  But it's also a really good way of distilling mental fragments into fully formed, conscious thoughts.  We're talking about using a journal as another means of revealing our thinking.  The process of writing causes us to think about our thoughts.  It's not uncommon to find ideas being expressed that we couldn't fully sort through in our head. 

Q:  Has anyone here tried writing in a journal?  What was your experience?
      How is a journal different from a diary?

A:  It depends on what you choose to record.  A diary may record the outer events happening in our lives.  For example, "talked to so-and-so today, he or she was happy the sun was shining."  On the other hand, to the extent that someone chooses to reflect on his or her thoughts in regard to these outer events, this is getting to the primary reason for suggesting we keep a journal. 

S:  A journal helps us explore the thoughts and feelings being generated by our internal operating system.  It's a method for becoming more aware of how our operating system is processing the events of our lives.  As we are increasingly able to clarify our thoughts, we not only become more attuned to ourselves, but we are better able to assess how we are reacting to our surroundings.  This naturally puts us in a better position to evaluate our response and to change it, if we think it's necessary.

Q:  When is a good time to start keeping a journal?

A:  Anytime.  But it may be particularly effective whenever we're faced with change or some other troubling event that we need to work through.  If you find it effective, make it a habit--attempt to write something everyday. 

Key Concept:  Keeping a journal engages us in a process of reducing our thoughts to words.  As any writer will tell you, it's not always easy!  The value of this exercise is in developing a conscious awareness of the thoughts driving our actions.


Conclusion

These days we often hear that change has become a constant.  But it should be apparent from the fundamentals that change has always been a constant.  The difference is that today the actions of an increasingly populous world are generating the unmistakable perception of accelerated change.  From an expanded view an increased awareness of change and the multiplicity of challenges that accompany it, make the perfect primer for the next stages of our developmental journey.

Although we often look for answers everywhere except ourselves, an expanded awareness of change points to the answers as residing in us.  Only in developing more insight into ourselves can we find the answers that enable us to respond differently to the effects created by change.  This means becoming aware and taking responsibility for the reactions of our internal operating system.  To the degree that we are able to gain more control of our operating system, we also reap the rewards--from the new effects we create for ourselves, to the differences our actions create for others.

The quest to achieve more inner control is a gradual developmental process that exempts no one.  It calls for patience, humility, and good judgement--three qualities difficult to achieve in the harried, post-modern society in which we live.  But take heart, for these virtues are often cultivated through working to expand awareness of one's own internal operating system.

It's only in our own imperfection that we find the empathy to embrace others in theirs…

My sincere gratitude to all those who undertake this inner journey of discovery for themselves!     DR


Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  This is the last segment in the series.  My hope is that something in this series has found resonance with you.  I'm open to your comments,  feedback and questions.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

Central to the whole process of dealing with change are the thoughts our internal operating system generates when it perceives change.  Our IOS is the mechanism, if you'll excuse the reference to a system that is anything but mechanical, that drives our actions.  As we've seen every action creates an effect…some of which will be interpreted as change.  The result is a cyclical interaction that exemplifies the natural evolution and progression of our experience.  This segment reviews these fundamental building blocks and suggests that only by becoming more aware of our thinking and what lies behind it can we expect to change our actions and thereby produce a different experience for ourselves and for those around us…


Actions Create Effects

S:  Everything we've been discussing in this second section of part three is showing us that by changing our actions we can create new effects.  For example, when change disrupts our ability to control the outer environment, instead of trying to regain control we use a new action--turning our attention to our internal operating system's response to the outer environment.  To determine how our internal operating system is responding requires us to become more attuned to what we're thinking.  Achieving that means taking the time to slowdown and observe our thoughts.  The perception of change can generate thoughts that trigger fear.  We learned that redirecting our thoughts to the present can reduce and even eliminate fear.  By observing our thoughts of the past, present, and future, we are able to see how our thoughts are actions that have varying effects on us.

Q:  From our exercise in part one: what did we conclude from trying to write down everything we do that's not an action?

A:  That everything we do is an action.

Q:  And every action creates what?

A:  An effect.

Key Concept:  One of the main objectives throughout this course is for us to see that every action we take creates an effect.

S:  Everything we do is creating an effect.  And where those effects are not contributing to our health and well-being, we need to change our actions to create a new effect that does.

Q:  Sounds simple, right?

A:  Well, maybe.  As long as we extend our awareness to an understanding of what drives our actions in the first place.  We know now that our thoughts, which are synthesized from sensory input by our internal operating system, are the primary actions that drive our emotions and create the effect of a self-perpetuating cycle of actions.  But without some knowledge of how thoughts are formed and how our internal operating system functions, what drives our actions is mostly obscured from us.  This fact contributes significantly to our inability to change.

Q:  Which begs the question: how can we change our actions if we don't know what causes us to act?

A:  What we've tried to share in part three are the natural barriers we face when trying to make changes.  Can we change?  Certainly!  But our internal operating system doesn’t make it easy; it takes work.  The operating system software we're running was designed to keep our species alive, and it's done a great job--we're thriving.  But our successes have created new challenges in the process.  And principal among these challenges is our ability to adapt to the changes we've created.  In many respects we sense the need for change.  But our ability to change is hampered by our internal operating system's programming.  One analogy we could draw is our internal operating system is very much like the rails on which a train runs.  We as passengers are free to look around and enjoy the ride, but the train goes where the rails go.

S:  Our internal operating system is like those rails.  Despite being aware of the need for change, perhaps even having a desire to change, our internal operating system still resists change for all the reasons we've been discussing.

Patterns of Thought

S:  At the root of our internal operating system is our thinking.  Thoughts drive our actions as the famous biblical quote suggests--"As a man thinketh, so shall he become."  With little recognition of the process our internal operating system programs us with an individualized view of the world.  This 'worldview' is a derivative of our thinking and forms the basis of our actions.  What we don't often realize is our worldview is confined to the sensory input of our direct experience.  And that our views are further limited by an internal operating system that is constantly evaluating and filtering new sensory input against the standards we have already set.  What's interesting about our little universe of one is we become quite comfortable with the idea that our view is not only true, but is also widely held by others.

Q:  Let me ask you a question, in general do you have a sense that you are a good person?

A:  Every person feels this way, regardless of what we've said or done, there is some redeeming light that resides in all of us that leaves us with the sense that "I am a good person."

S:  The idea that I am a good person may ironically be one of the factors that keeps us from exploring our thinking further.  It's a way of accepting ourselves and being comfortable with who we are.

Q:  So what's wrong with that?

A:  Nothing.  Except that progress depends on growth and any growth we're achieving is largely subconscious.  We think we know why we're here, but our internal operating system is still in control of our reactions to most things.  If we're going to exercise more control over our internal operating system we have to continue looking for ways to uncover how it's functioning.

Q:  So how can we do that?

A:  Well, one way is to simply pay more attention to how we respond to all the little events in our lives.  If we watch ourselves long enough we'll begin to see patterns in our behavior.  For example, if someone cuts in front of you on the freeway, do you get angry?  When something happens, do you blame others?  How do you feel when you make a mistake?  If your last experience with change was unpleasant, how do you think you'll respond the next time it comes up?  These patterns of behavior give us an inside look at the way our internal operating system has programmed itself to respond.

Key Concept:  Becoming aware of our habituated responses to common situations is another way of beginning to observe how we behave.  This can open the door to further exploration of the thinking that drives our actions.

Exercise
What are your thoughts on… liberals, conservatives, the color pink, washing dishes, reality TV, rap music, traffic jams, work, rodents, grocery shopping.

Q:  Do you have a strong opinion, mild opinion, or no opinion on these subjects?

Q:  Did you have any trouble forming an opinion?  Do you feel your opinion is justified?

Q:  What was the basis of your opinion, direct experience, the opinions of others, just a feeling?

S:  It's important to understand that in the process of forming our thoughts we have developed justifications for why we think the way we do.  Our justifications don't have to be logical or based on fact for us to rationalize our thoughts.  Most of the time we generalize--depending on what we've heard, observed or experienced--we tend to let this limited input represent what we know about a subject.  Feeling our views are justified plays an important part in our sense of knowing and the control we have over our environment.  To this end our internal operating system's response to external conditions is automatic.  The need for control and the need to know are powerful barriers to questioning the justifications for our thinking.  Only in becoming aware of this are we able to begin observing our patterns of response.  As we do, over time we find ourselves in a position to evaluate our programmed responses to the people and things in our surroundings, as well as the impact that our responses have on us. 

Exercise
Q:  Let's take one of the examples from our exercise above and see if our logic holds water.  (Choose one of the examples that elicits a strong opinion.)

Q:  What are your justifications for your strong opinion?
      Is this a generalization?

Q:  Could this example be viewed from exactly the opposite of your opinion?
      (Ex. Doesn't like rodents.  Is there anything positive about rodents?)

A:  Do you see that we can't go there without questioning our beliefs--without questioning our sense of knowing?

S:  We all have patterns of thought--automatic ways of reacting to situations, people, and the environment around us.  Becoming aware of our patterns is another method of exposing the functioning of our internal operating system.  Once you see a pattern: first, don't beat yourself up--remember we all have patterns.  Second, work with yourself to see if you can delay your reaction--you may think it, but try not to act on it.  This new action is likely to create a different effect, both for you, and those around you.  Not only is the outcome often surprising, but with time and continued practice you're on the right track to making change work for you!



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  The next segment is our last!  In it we'll offer a couple final ideas that you can use to work with yourself in easing the change process...  As always, I'm interested in your feedback and/or any questions you may have.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

What we know, or think we know, plays a critical role in our sense of control.  What we know informs our actions, and those actions produce consequences.  If the consequences match the expected outcome, we're happy.  If not, we're obligated to evaluate what we thought we knew and to make adjustments accordingly.  In this segment we discuss the three realms from which our sense of knowing comes.  And why knowing from where our thoughts are emanating is an important part of dealing with change…


Past, Present, Future

S:  In discussing methods of handling fear, we said that our internal operating system often triggers fear when attempting to interpret the outcome of an unknown.  It does this by projecting previous experiences onto the present circumstances, or by playing 'what if' games with the future.  These actions are all about our internal operating system's attempts to maintain control over the outer environment.

S:  In previous discussions we've said that a big part of our sense of control comes from what we know.  So where does our sense of knowing come from?  It comes from our direct experience of right now, from our memories of previous experience, and from our expectations of tomorrow.  In short, our sense of knowing is drawn from the three realms of past, present and future.  However, just like real and imagined fear, it's not always easy to discern from which realm we're drawing our sense of knowing.  And as our discussion on fear just revealed a sense of knowing that relies on the past or projections of the future can unwittingly impede our progress.

S:  A number of years ago the Harvard School of Medicine for Mind/Body Wellness came out with a national program on stress reduction.  I became interested because it was one of the first programs, to my knowledge, to link how we use our minds with the creation of stress.  They conducted a study on the amount of time the average person spends thinking about the past, present and future.  The results were fascinating.  They found 40% of the average person's mental activity was spent dwelling on the past.  They found another 50% of the average person's mental activity was spent thinking about the future.  Which left only 10% of their mental activity focused in the present.

Their conclusion was people were creating stress for themselves by thinking about the past and the future.  A conclusion that we could draw as well based on what we've been learning about our inner operating system's use of past memories and future projections to create fear. 

Q:  What's the value of memory--of being able to recall the past?

A:  Have you ever been around an elderly person who is experiencing short-term memory loss?  They often ask the same questions over and over because they can't remember what they just asked.  This provides us with some insight into the importance of memory.  Memory is critical to the learning process.  Facts and figures certainly, but also learning from our experiences, and for recalling the results of our actions.  Memory is critical to building relationships and interacting with others.  It's also the means to surveying our progress, and a method of delineating the passage of time.  So being able to recall the past has a lot of positive attributes.

Q:  But are there negative consequences to being able to recall the past?

A:  Well, we've just been discussing how our internal operating system can create a sense of fear right now, simply by recalling certain past memories.  Memory allows us to replay the same event over and over.  For example, if we make a mistake, being able to replay that mistake over and over can leave an indelible mark on our psyche.  Memories are imprinted via our interpretations of events, meaning events are recorded according to how we interpreted them.  For example, what we remember about past learning experiences can have a lot to do with our success in new learning environments.  Previous experiences with change can easily influence our interpretation of current changes.  What we're suggesting is our past can figure prominently in the limitations we place on ourselves in the present.  What happened in the past does not reflect the exact same circumstances as today.

Key Concept:  What happened in the past can only serve as a guideline, not a guarantee, of what will happen in the present or the future.

S:  So the gift of memory holds both positive and negative attributes depending on how we choose to use it.  However, many of us unwittingly let the past rule the present--by dictating our present actions.  Since our present actions contribute to the unfolding of future events--the past can also be seen as influencing our future.  Something to think about!

Q:  Now, let's turn our attention to the future.  What's the value of having an imagination and being able to think about the future?

A:  Imagination makes it possible to envision a future different from today.  It gives us hope.  Imagination reflects the mind's eye where all things are first created--the fountainhead of creativity.  We use imagination to conceive new ideas or expand on existing ones.  The future is the canvas on which we paint our desires and color our dreams.  From this perspective, our ability to imagine the future has some very positive attributes.

Q:  But are there negative consequences to our ability to imagine the future?

A:  The future symbolizes the unknown; if our internal operating system feels threatened it uses imagination to create a known where a known does not yet exist.  This is an illusory attempt at manipulating a reality that has yet to unfold.  It speaks to the problem we discussed in connection with fear; our imagination can create fear where there is only the shadow of the unknown.  Yet, the future can only be experienced as a projection of our imagination.  Frequently, the future turns out different than we hoped.  This can lead to a sense of powerlessness in our ability to shape the future.  For example, futuristic sci-fi movies inevitably portray us fighting evildoers or some kind of monster, which is simply a current mindset imposed on the future.  This is a good example of how our past manages to dominate our actions and influence the future.  Finally, let's not forget that the future can only be revealed in the present moment.  An unknown created today can only be revealed as a future event when the present moment reaches that point.

S:  So like the past, the ability to imagine the future has both positive and negative attributes depending on how we choose to use it.

Key Concept:  The future is based on constantly changing variables--anything is possible.  However, the degree to which we can separate reality from imagined reality is the degree to which we remain balanced and grounded.

Q:  Well, what about the present, does it seem reasonable that the average person spends only 10% of their mental activity in the present?

Q:  Does this reflect a presumption on our part about the relative importance of the past, present and future?

A:  There could be some logic associated with such a presumption, after all we have a huge amount of historical information stored in the mind.  The future has no limits from the standpoint of our imagination.  And the present, well, it's this very small momentary snapshot of current awareness.  So, from the perspective of an undisciplined mind--all that stored data and endless projections of imagination--could definitely make the present seem rather inconsequential.

Q:  What do you suppose is the importance of the present?

A:  Well, for one thing, without the present moment, there is no past or future.  The present--this moment right now--is the only true reality that we know.  It's in this moment that we are able to recall the past or imagine the future.  We don't return to a moment in the past, we have a mental recollection of it.  We can't transport ourselves into future, we create a mental image of it using our imagination.  Does our recollection or projection have the same certainty and tangible reality of the present moment?  It simply cannot.

S:  In discussing strategies for reducing imagined fear the suggestion was to redirect our thoughts back to the present.  In doing this we're directing the mind to leave an imagined reality and return to what is real in the present moment.  Any thoughts or desire to change the past can only be changed by actions in the present.  Any hope of an imagined future can only be realized by actions taken in the present.  The truth of our reality--despite the important attributes of the past and future--is we will always and forever remain in the present.

Q:  Are we saying that because we never leave the present that we shouldn't plan or set goals for the future?

A:  Not at all.  When do we plan and set goals?  In the only time we have--the present moment. The point is not to become so focused on planning the future that we forget to experience the present.  Without becoming aware of our mental habits the present moment is easily consumed with attention focused on the past or future.  Those thoughts prevent us from being fully aware of what's happening in this moment.

S:  It's interesting to note that the more focused we are in the present the easier it is to observe our thoughts, become aware of our actions, and really see the different processes responsible for producing outcomes.  Attempting to be more centered in the present increases our awareness of time.  We are less likely to be paralyzed by fear over an unknown--realizing that time will reveal the outcome.  Also, we are more apt to see the actions that result in change--making it less of a surprise.

Q:  There are many excellent reasons for staying focused in the present.
      But are there any negatives to experiencing the present?

A:  Unlike the past and future that exhibit facets of the unreal, the opposite is sometimes a problem with the present--our reality can be too real.  We sometimes have difficulty accepting our present circumstances.  If anything about our situation isn't fun, is painful or hurts, our reaction is often a desire to escape the current reality.  The avenues of escape from the present are legion--everything from frequent mental excursions to ingesting substances aimed at altering the senses.  Of course, it's not possible to actually escape the present so wherever we redirect our attention it's a temporary escape at best.

Key Concept:  The magic of the present is that everything we do happens within the envelope of the here and now.  The importance of the present is it reflects our truest measure of reality.

S:  As individuals our reality may not be outwardly glamorous or famous, but from an expanded view each of our realities exhibits great beauty simply in our being.  Remember too, that being endowed with the gift of self-consciousness enables us to play a part in creating our reality.  As we will discuss in a moment all actions create effects, and over time all things change.  We might conclude that focusing our attention in the present has a lot to recommend it.

S:  The past, present and future represent the three playing fields on which our
internal operating system functions. These fields represent the range of thoughts from which we draw our interpretations about the world.  If we intend to exercise a greater degree of control over our internal operating system we must become more adept at recognizing which field we are using to form our interpretations.  The mission in this segment was to provide some insight into the advantages and disadvantages of each field.  It's not a matter of which field to use--we need all three--it's about integrating the best aspects of all three fields into a more effective way of living and being in the world.



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  In the next segment our discussion turns toward summarizing and tieing up loose ends...  As always, I'm interested in your comments or if you have any questions.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

The purpose of this course is to help us understand the dynamics of change.  As we've seen there's a direct correlation between our perception of change and how our internal operating system automatically reacts.  The first step is to become more aware of how our internal operating system processes change.  In the second section of part three we've begun discussing methods for furthering our awareness of our IOS, and ways to begin working within ourselves to consciously override the IOS and choose a different reaction.  The goal is to lessen the influence and impact that change has on our sanity and well-being.

Today our discussion is about working with fear.  Whether we realize it or not, fear is the driving force underlying many of our reactions to change.  We've already said we often confuse fear with other thoughts and feelings--even at times thoughts as seemingly rational as logic and objectivity.  Fear is a part of us, its not to be cast out; rather we need to recognize when our thoughts and actions are being driven by fear.  Learning to work with fear is essential to the goal of reducing the impact that change has on our health and well-being…


Methods for Handling Fear

Q:  From the first section of part three: what is fear?

A:  An emotion.

Q:  And what creates or underlies our emotions?

A:  Thoughts.

Q:  So what do we find at the core of fear?  (Thoughts!)

S:  Interesting that in addressing fear--a significant factor in our experience of change--we immediately discover yet another link to the importance of becoming aware of our thoughts.

S:  We've acknowledged that fear has a purpose, but we've also shown that when we allow fear to control us it can block actions necessary to moving forward, as well as thwarting opportunities to extend our knowledge.  What we want to discuss now are ways we can lessen the impact that fear has on us.

Q:  Let's review briefly; what's the primary reason our internal operating system triggers fear?
     
A:  Our internal operating system is programmed to respond to anything that may be a threat to our self-preservation.  It triggers fear as a way of keeping us from harm and danger.

Q:  Where change is involved what typically causes our internal operating system to trigger fear?

A:  Frequently it's an unknown created by a change in circumstances.

Q:  One last question, in triggering fear does our internal operating system make a distinction between real and imagined fear?

A:  No.  Our reactions may vary, but the important thing to remember is our internal operating system triggers fear whether it's real or not.

S:  Whether a perceived threat is real or imagined is one area where we've said there's some room to work with fear.  What we need to understand is we are interpreters of our experience.  Remember how we demonstrated we could create fear simply by thinking certain thoughts?  When we are faced with change it's often our interpretation of the unknown that triggers fear.  We set off our own fear by attempting to imagine what a particular change means.  Most of the time, it's impossible to know what it means.  But that doesn't keep our internal operating system from trying to interpret the unknown--often imagining a threat and triggering fear in the process.

S:  So when we're experiencing fear we need to evaluate the extent to which the circumstances reflect real or imagined danger.  This can be difficult to determine particularly under the duress of change.  However, generally speaking, fear that is evoked by change is more likely to be imagined.  Real danger on the other hand, tends to be known.  Even in unfolding circumstances real danger is likely to be immediately recognizable.

Key Concept:  Key to addressing feelings of fear is the ability to more accurately interpret our experience.  Is the fear we're experiencing more imagined than real?  We can trigger fear by mentally projecting the past or future even when no real danger is present.

Exercise:
Let's do an exercise now that demonstrates how tricky it can be to evaluate whether our fears are real or imagined.  I think we'll find the lines between the two are often blurred and as individuals we have different perceptions of what's real and imagined.  Remember too, that fear does have its place, and in honoring ourselves we must accept fear as part of us.  By approaching fear and its purpose with reverence and understanding, we are positioning ourselves to work with fear.

Instructions
I have ten situations that I'll read and I want you to evaluate whether your fear would be real or imagined under these circumstances.  There are no right or wrong answers here. 

1. Standing on a small open balcony on the 12th floor of a high rise.  (Real or Imagined)
2. Standing on the top rung of a six-foot ladder. (Real or Imagined)
3. Driving on a two-lane, not divided, highway at 60 mph. (Real or Imagined)
4. Riding a motorcycle. (Real or Imagined)
5. Feeding a bear marshmallows through a partly rolled down window. (Real or Imagined)
6. Forgetting to turn off a burner on your stove. (Real or Imagined)
7. Shooting a gun. (Real or Imagined)
8. Having only enough money to feed your family this week. (Real or Imagined)
9. Losing your job. (Real or Imagined)
10. Giving a presentation to a group of people. (Real or Imagined)

S:  As we can see the interpretation of real or imagined fear is often dependent on our individual perspective.  Some situations that pose real danger, like driving a car, shooting a gun, or riding a motorcycle, may not evoke as much fear as less physically dangerous circumstances such as losing a job or giving a presentation.

Q:  Why do you think that is?

A:  One answer could be that the dangers associated with driving a car, riding a motorcycle or shooting a gun are known; and we believe by exercising skill and caution that we can mitigate some of the risk.  Whereas losing a job or giving a presentation represent unknowns--we won't know how it turns out until we go through the process.

Another possible answer is the more we do something without having our fears realized, the less threat is perceived by our internal operating system.  We become acclimated to the conditions.  Riding a motorcycle or driving a car may be dangerous, but the more we do it without having an accident the more confident we become and the less fear we experience.  Wouldn't this also be true for less physically dangerous situations like public speaking?  The more you do it, the more comfortable you feel.

S:  So one of the things we might observe about fear, whether it's real or imagined, is it becomes less potent over time.  We can acclimate to conditions that initially produce fear with the passage of time and by learning from our experience.  This is because time and learning enable us to develop a new 'known' around what initially triggered our fears.

Q:  So why is it that certain types of change evoke fear?

A:  Primarily because these changes represent new or different conditions when compared to our normal situation.  For example, even though we may have become acclimated to the danger of driving a car, what happens when we're driving along and suddenly someone pulls out and we have to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident?  (Our fear is instantly awakened)

S:  Another way of determining whether our fears are real or imagined, or have shifted from real to imagined, is by observing our thoughts.  As an emotion the feeling of fear is much easier to recognize than what we're thinking.  But since we know that thoughts produce emotions we can use the feeling to work back to our thoughts.  (This will likely require sitting quietly and contemplating the situation.)  The objective is to learn whether the thoughts underlying our fear are projections of past events or 'what ifs' masquerading as future outcomes.

From our example above: where a car suddenly pulls out in front of us, the real danger ends when we successfully avoid an accident.  But we may continue to perpetuate our fear by making projections about what might have happened if we hadn't been paying attention.  Under circumstances like this, fear can quickly turn to anger, but the anger is a mask for a mind still fearful of what 'might' have happened.

S:  When change confronts us with an unknown our internal operating system's first reaction is to begin searching our database for similar experiences, if it comes up empty it begins conjuring up imagined outcomes.  This instinctive need to know can easily evoke fear in the process.  For most of us triggering fear in this way is unavoidable.  But if upon reflection, we determine our fear is more imagined than real, how can we reduce the feeling of fear?

Focusing on the Present

A:  We can reduce or lessen fear by redirecting our thoughts to the present.  We do this by recognizing and releasing any thoughts of the past or future, and refocusing our attention on what is happening in the present moment.  This requires some practice, but intentionally redirecting our attention to the present releases the thoughts our internal operating system is using to trigger fear.  However, remember that the mind's need to know is so strong that it often returns to thinking about the past or future.  And doing so can re-trigger our fears all over again.  With a little patience and practice this technique is very effective at reducing or eliminating fear.

S:  One of the reasons it's effective is there's nothing in the present to trigger our
fear.  If we were endangered in the present, our internal operating system would be focused on the immediate problem--it wouldn't have time to ruminate on the past or imagine the future.

S:  Fear is a powerful emotion that definitely has an impact on our actions.  In cases of change it prevents us from letting go of the known, may impede the learning process, and results in denying us the benefit of further growth and advancement.  For most of us fear isn't something we can eliminate, its part of our experience.  What we can do is become more aware of how fear influences our actions, and when fear is largely a projection of our imagination use the methods we've discussed here to lessen the effect.



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  In our next segment we discuss the only three realms from which to derive a sense of knowing…  As always, I welcome your comments and encourage any questions you may have.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.