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January 2009 
Everything Changes! How Change Impacts Us No. 8
Posted on Aug 4th, 2008
by 
dannyboy
dannyboy
So how does change impact us? What I've been attempting to do so far is give you some insight into the processes of your internal operating system. How your sensory perceptions are converted to thoughts and stored as beliefs, feelings, assumptions, memories, etc. All these different thoughts are formed from your experiences and then used by your internal operating system to interpret new events as they arise. The whole process is so natural that you don't even give it a second thought. When we perceive change we are usually dealing with something new or different from our previous experience. Since the internal operating system doesn't have any direct experience to draw on, it attempts to interpret--or essentially fabricates--a meaning(s) for the new event. The case study/exercise that follows points to this process and is designed to help you see how your own internal operating system interprets the event.
S: What we're going to do now is see how our beliefs, thoughts and emotions come into play in a case study where we actually experience change.
Case Study
Exercise: Part One
In this exercise we're going to take a hypothetical scenario involving change and see if we can capture as many of the thoughts and feelings this scenario might create. As in previous exercises you'll need to make the scenario as real for yourself as possible. Try to imagine how you would feel under these circumstances.
We're going to pair up for this exercise allowing you to collaborate with a partner. Because your feelings may be easier to grasp, discuss with your partner your initial reactions. Record these feelings by writing them on a sheet of paper. Once recorded, see if you can determine the thoughts that produced your initial feelings.
Scenario: It's Tuesday afternoon, your boss has just informed you that the deadline for the project you've been working on--previously due in 3 weeks--has been moved up to this Friday by 5 o'clock. Your initial reaction is complete shock. The project is coming along, but even if you could work on it 24 hours a day there's no way you could finish by Friday. You stammer as you try to convey your thoughts of impossibility to the boss. But she cuts you off; the decision has been made. As you turn to leave, she adds one more caveat, if you can't meet the deadline it could mean losing your job.
S: With your partner discuss your reaction to this scenario. Make a list of your emotional responses and then see if you can record the thoughts behind your emotions.
Whole Group Discussion
Q: What were your initial feelings?
Q: Were you able to identify the thoughts underlying your emotions?
Example: Feeling--anger Thought--I'm in a no win situation here.
Here is a partial list of feelings and thoughts one might experience in this scenario:
Feelings Thoughts
Denial / Disbelief I don't believe what I'm hearing, this can't be!
Uncertainty/ Doubt How am I going to complete the project?
Anger I'm in a no win situation here, someone wants my job!
There's no way I can complete this project by Friday.
Bargaining Maybe I can get more time, if I promise to…
Stress / Fear I could lose my job if I can't deliver, how will I pay my bills?
Indecision What am I going to do, what parts of the project can be
scrapped? Should I work all night?
Tired / Depressed This will never work; what's the point? I'm doomed!
Exercise: Part Two
In the first scenario we experienced a change. In addition there were further consequences alluded to if we couldn't meet the deadline--specifically, losing our job. In the second part of this exercise we're going to realize our worst fears throwing us into even more turmoil. As before you need to really put yourselves into the situation--recording again with your partner, your reactions in terms of what you're thinking and feeling. Here's the scenario.
Scenario: The end of the week arrives, it's late Friday afternoon. You've done everything within your ability to complete the project. You worked late at the office on three nights. The family's upset because they've barely seen you in three days. You couldn't shut your mind off, so you haven't slept well since Tuesday when all this insanity began. You're feeling agitated and angry. Major pieces of the project had to be scrapped because there simply wasn't time to include them. Your boss has taken what you turned in and is meeting with her superiors to review it. You see her coming out of the conference room, heading for your desk. The look on her face is pale and drawn. She begins by complimenting you on what you finished.
However, the project is so grossly incomplete that they feel they have no other choice but to terminate you, effective immediately.
S: With your partner I want you to discuss your reactions to these new events i.e. how are you feeling? What's going through your mind? Make a list of any new emotions you're feeling and try to identify the thoughts prompting your feelings.
Whole Group Discussion
Q: Did the change in the second scenario have more impact than the first change?
Why?
A: Yes, The consequence of losing one's job has a significantly expanded impact on us and on those who depend on our support. There are a number of significant changes to deal with but a central factor is money.
S: Again, let's record on the board your reactions--what you were feeling and what thoughts were prompting those feelings.
Here is a partial list of feelings and thoughts one might experience in this scenario:
Feelings Thoughts
Anger This is unfair! I'm being treated unjustly!
Grief What am I going to do? Things won't be the same.
I'll never find or have a better job.
Fear What if I can't find another job, what if I have to take less
money?
Loss of Identity Who am I, now that I'm not a (job title).
Loss of Income How am I going to pay the mortgage?
How can we cut back on expenses?
Loss of Social Contacts I won't be bowling with the guys from work anymore.
Depression I've failed at my job, I've failed my family, I've failed myself.
Low Self-Worth / Doubt If only I'd gotten on that project sooner!
S: We could have used a less dramatic example in the second scenario. Is this a situation likely to happen in real life? Probably not. But the point was to create vivid feelings--to realize how change impacts us internally. The reason we have such difficulty with change is it disrupts our sense of knowing. When we get into a routine we have certain expectations about how life is going--about what's going to happen, where we'll be, and with whom.
Note to reader: Thanks for reading! The next segment (No. 9) will continue the discussion of how change impacts us... look for it in the next few days. I'm interested in your feedback and invite you to share your thoughts or any questions you may have..
Copyright 2008. The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives. It is provided for your personal use. The material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.
S: What we're going to do now is see how our beliefs, thoughts and emotions come into play in a case study where we actually experience change.
Case Study
Exercise: Part One
In this exercise we're going to take a hypothetical scenario involving change and see if we can capture as many of the thoughts and feelings this scenario might create. As in previous exercises you'll need to make the scenario as real for yourself as possible. Try to imagine how you would feel under these circumstances.
We're going to pair up for this exercise allowing you to collaborate with a partner. Because your feelings may be easier to grasp, discuss with your partner your initial reactions. Record these feelings by writing them on a sheet of paper. Once recorded, see if you can determine the thoughts that produced your initial feelings.
Scenario: It's Tuesday afternoon, your boss has just informed you that the deadline for the project you've been working on--previously due in 3 weeks--has been moved up to this Friday by 5 o'clock. Your initial reaction is complete shock. The project is coming along, but even if you could work on it 24 hours a day there's no way you could finish by Friday. You stammer as you try to convey your thoughts of impossibility to the boss. But she cuts you off; the decision has been made. As you turn to leave, she adds one more caveat, if you can't meet the deadline it could mean losing your job.
S: With your partner discuss your reaction to this scenario. Make a list of your emotional responses and then see if you can record the thoughts behind your emotions.
Whole Group Discussion
Q: What were your initial feelings?
Q: Were you able to identify the thoughts underlying your emotions?
Example: Feeling--anger Thought--I'm in a no win situation here.
Here is a partial list of feelings and thoughts one might experience in this scenario:
Feelings Thoughts
Denial / Disbelief I don't believe what I'm hearing, this can't be!
Uncertainty/ Doubt How am I going to complete the project?
Anger I'm in a no win situation here, someone wants my job!
There's no way I can complete this project by Friday.
Bargaining Maybe I can get more time, if I promise to…
Stress / Fear I could lose my job if I can't deliver, how will I pay my bills?
Indecision What am I going to do, what parts of the project can be
scrapped? Should I work all night?
Tired / Depressed This will never work; what's the point? I'm doomed!
Exercise: Part Two
In the first scenario we experienced a change. In addition there were further consequences alluded to if we couldn't meet the deadline--specifically, losing our job. In the second part of this exercise we're going to realize our worst fears throwing us into even more turmoil. As before you need to really put yourselves into the situation--recording again with your partner, your reactions in terms of what you're thinking and feeling. Here's the scenario.
Scenario: The end of the week arrives, it's late Friday afternoon. You've done everything within your ability to complete the project. You worked late at the office on three nights. The family's upset because they've barely seen you in three days. You couldn't shut your mind off, so you haven't slept well since Tuesday when all this insanity began. You're feeling agitated and angry. Major pieces of the project had to be scrapped because there simply wasn't time to include them. Your boss has taken what you turned in and is meeting with her superiors to review it. You see her coming out of the conference room, heading for your desk. The look on her face is pale and drawn. She begins by complimenting you on what you finished.
However, the project is so grossly incomplete that they feel they have no other choice but to terminate you, effective immediately.
S: With your partner I want you to discuss your reactions to these new events i.e. how are you feeling? What's going through your mind? Make a list of any new emotions you're feeling and try to identify the thoughts prompting your feelings.
Whole Group Discussion
Q: Did the change in the second scenario have more impact than the first change?
Why?
A: Yes, The consequence of losing one's job has a significantly expanded impact on us and on those who depend on our support. There are a number of significant changes to deal with but a central factor is money.
S: Again, let's record on the board your reactions--what you were feeling and what thoughts were prompting those feelings.
Here is a partial list of feelings and thoughts one might experience in this scenario:
Feelings Thoughts
Anger This is unfair! I'm being treated unjustly!
Grief What am I going to do? Things won't be the same.
I'll never find or have a better job.
Fear What if I can't find another job, what if I have to take less
money?
Loss of Identity Who am I, now that I'm not a (job title).
Loss of Income How am I going to pay the mortgage?
How can we cut back on expenses?
Loss of Social Contacts I won't be bowling with the guys from work anymore.
Depression I've failed at my job, I've failed my family, I've failed myself.
Low Self-Worth / Doubt If only I'd gotten on that project sooner!
S: We could have used a less dramatic example in the second scenario. Is this a situation likely to happen in real life? Probably not. But the point was to create vivid feelings--to realize how change impacts us internally. The reason we have such difficulty with change is it disrupts our sense of knowing. When we get into a routine we have certain expectations about how life is going--about what's going to happen, where we'll be, and with whom.
Note to reader: Thanks for reading! The next segment (No. 9) will continue the discussion of how change impacts us... look for it in the next few days. I'm interested in your feedback and invite you to share your thoughts or any questions you may have..
Copyright 2008. The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives. It is provided for your personal use. The material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.
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