At this point we've learned how change impacts our internal operating system (IOS).  You should have a pretty good idea from the discussion so far why our internal operating system resists change.  The question is, is there anything we can do to ease the reaction of our IOS?  The answer: there is; and that's our focus as we dive into the second half of part three.  In this first segment we begin with what it means to change our internal operating system's reaction…


Upgrading the Internal Operating System

S:  In the first section of part three we discussed how our internal operating system reacts to change.  In this section we look at various ways to begin interacting more directly with our operating system.  Despite the analogy we've drawn between our operating system and that of a computer this isn't a simple exercise in reprogramming.  Our internal operating system isn't an object in the same sense of a computer, it's part of our being--it's the mental part of who we are.  We've taken up an objective viewpoint calling it our internal operating system so that we could become more aware of its operation.  But a more accurate portrayal would be if we said it's a part of us that we're getting to know better.

Another important point is while our internal operating systems function the same and react to external stimulus in much the same way, each of us possesses an operating system that is unique to us.  It's unique because our experiences are unique.  A pair of identical twins can have the same exact experiences and still interpret those experiences differently.  Here's another way to think about our uniqueness amid all kinds of similarities.  Each of us is recognized individually by our appearance.  True?  Yet, we are the same from the standpoint of having eyes, ears, nose and a mouth.  Do you see then how our internal operating systems can have the same components and still be unique to each of us?

It's important to see ourselves as one with our internal operating system.  It is us and we are it, but not in a way that's fixed.  In this course we've started a process of illuminating a part of us that was previously operating mostly without our awareness.  A central theme of this course is the difficulty that stems from change as it collides with our internal operating system.  The way to lessen the effects of change is to first understand how our internal operating system reacts, and then use that knowledge to learn how to adjust our response.

Q:  Does it make sense that if we gain a better understanding of our internal operating system that we might also be able to affect how change impacts us?   Yes or No?

Transformational Learning

S:  Albert Einstein is quoted as having said: "No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it."  We are attempting to solve the problem of change, not with the hope of eliminating it, but through expanding our understanding.  What Einstein was suggesting involves extending our consciousness beyond the problem.  And we have done that by developing a better understanding of how change impacts our internal operating system.

S:  In this section we are going to extend our expanded understanding to methods of gaining more access to our internal operating system.  This involves learning that when successfully applied becomes transformational.

Q:  What do we mean by transformational?

A:  By becoming more aware of our internal operating system we are afforded the opportunity to make more conscious decisions about how we interact with our outer surroundings.  Any action we take to change our interaction with the surroundings creates a new effect.  So by exercising greater awareness of our choice of actions we achieve the potential to transform not only the effect, but our experience as well.

S:  To clarify this a bit more we could think of learning as taking place on two different axis'.  The horizontal axis represents the kind of learning we encounter most often.  Horizontal or translational learning extends our knowledge and increases our understanding through explanation.  Most of what we've learned in this course so far represents information that extends our knowledge along the horizontal axis.

Learning that extends along the vertical axis is what we're calling transformational.  This represents changes to our internal operating system and how we choose to interact with our environment.  For example, any behavior we are successful in changing has the potential to transform our experience.  Transformational learning is reflected in our ability to make changes to our internal operating system's typical reaction to external events.  Or in other words, transformational learning is the way we upgrade our internal operating system.

Q:  Are we saying this section is about learning how to change?

A:  In a manner of speaking, yes.  In learning how to guide our internal operating system's reactions, we are learning how to make our experience of change less stressful and more productive.  I highly recommend using change as a catalyst for growth, but that decision must be made as change comes up for each of us as individuals.

S:  As we enter this section we will be introducing methods that are different from the way our internal operating system is use to functioning.  As we noted in one of our key concepts in part two: to change is to learn.  But remember that learning takes time, it doesn't happen overnight.  And, I want to remind you that new ideas have a way of provoking fear.  So unless we make a conscious effort to stay open, our internal operating system may reject these ideas before we ever get a chance to realize the full potential of these methods.

Key Concept:  To transform our experience, we must transform our actions.  This requires knowledge of how our internal operating system functions.  When we understand this we are gaining the ability to exercise more control over our internal operating system.



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  In the next segment we look at an effective way of addressing our need for control when change prevents us from controlling our external circumstances...  As always, I welcome your comments and invite you to ask any questions you may have.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

Back in the first section of part three (Everything Changes! No.12) we said that a feeling of control is essential to our sanity and well-being.  In this segment we're going to extend our discussion on control to see if there's a way to preserve a sense of control while experiencing change that produces events or circumstances that are beyond our control.  Remember that normally our internal operating system uses the sensory input from our surroundings to assess control.  If we sense we're not in control the first thing our IOS does is to look for ways to reestablish control over the environment.  Understand we're not saying that's a bad thing…we're simply suggesting that always trying to control the outer environment places limits on the possible responses.  This is where learning to recognize our internal operating system's reactions can lead to greater self-awareness and the possibility of choosing new actions that produce different (or better?) consequences…


Addressing the Need for Control

S:  In the first section of part three we addressed our need for control.  We started out with the idea that primary to a sense of health and well-being is a sense of control.  We learned that our physical senses naturally direct our focus to the outer surroundings, and that our internal operating system utilizes this sensory input to evaluate the conditions and derive a sense of control.  The problem as we discovered is we can't always control our external environment and this affects our sense of control.

In an environment where change increasingly disrupts our ability to control the external surroundings, our internal operating system's reaction to a loss of control has a direct effect on our health and well-being.

Q:  Does it seem reasonable to ask how we can accommodate accelerated rates of change and still maintain a sense of well-being?

A:  I'm sure you're wondering how we do that?  If our sense of sanity depends on being in control, but we can't always control the outer environment, then we need a new strategy for exercising control in these situations.  Does that make sense?

S:  In the first section of part three we described our internal operating system as "the basic software that allows all our other capacities to function."  This gives us a clue as to where we should begin to look for answers.  Part of the problem is until now, we haven't really had any idea how our internal operating system functioned. 

Q:  Does it strike you at all odd that we don't know more about the system that allows all our other capacities to function?

A:  Maybe, but maybe not.  After all, our operating system has allowed us to interact with the world; protecting us from danger and predators, allowing us to function independently, learn, and advance…all with very little awareness of how our internal operating system actually functions!

S:  But now, as our development accelerates perhaps it's time for us to begin comprehending a little more about our internal operating system.  In our endeavor to understand change we have identified a problem.  Accelerated rates of change effect our ability to control the outer environment, which upsets our internal operating system and impacts our health and well-being.

S:  The answer we're searching for seems to have to do with methods of exercising more control over our internal operating system.

Q:  For example, if we are able to increase awareness of our reactions, could we choose to respond differently?

A:  Absolutely, there's no reason we can't.  It's simply a matter of awareness.  What keeps us reacting to the outer environment is a lack of awareness of our own internal operating system.  By becoming more aware of our internal operating system's reaction to the outer environment, we put ourselves in a position to choose a different response.  And in doing so we can relieve some of the stress and anxiety we normally feel when the outer environment is out of our control.

Key Concept:  When conditions in the outer environment are beyond our control, we need to shift our focus and derive a sense of control from exercising more control over our internal operating system's reaction.

S:  Now, in case you're feeling a little intimidated over trying to control your internal operating system, I want to remind you that all the discussion up to this point has been increasing our awareness of how the system operates.  And the rest of the course is devoted to providing you with techniques that give you greater access to your operating system.  But before we move on, let's take a few minutes to reason through our ability to exercise more control over our internal operating system.

Q:  Do we interact with ourselves at the present time?   Yes or No?

A:  Sure we do.  Don't we talk to ourselves?  What about all those thoughts that are constantly streaming through our minds?  Aren't these forms of interacting with ourselves?

S:  So extending our awareness to what we're saying to ourselves or to the thoughts we have in reaction to our outer environment is just a little deeper form of interaction with ourselves. 

Q:  When we talk about exercising control over our internal operating system, how is that different from what we commonly refer to as self-control?  Aren't we already exercising some types of self-control?

S:  For example: Do we always tell everyone what we think?  Isn't that a form of self-control?

A:  Sure it is.  So we're already practicing some types of self-control.  The type of self-control we're most familiar with is directed toward controlling the outer environment.  Learning to exercise control over our internal operating system is just a little deeper form of self-control.  The difference is, this deeper form is directed toward seeing how our reactions impact us--the impact to our own health and well-being.  Instead of using self-control to affect the surrounding environment, we're shifting our focus to how the outer environment is affecting us.  Through this expanded awareness we are able to make choices that better serve us and those around us.  Does that make sense?

S:  Ok, so let's move on to specific methods we can employ in beginning to exercise more control over our internal operating system.

Observing Our Thoughts

S:  The ability to synthesize sensory data into thoughts that are stored and recalled in the mind is a critical part of our internal operating system's function.  As discussed in part one, thoughts are actions.  Which gives them the power to create further actions and reactions.  This means that becoming more aware of our thoughts is key to exercising greater control over our internal operating system.  At present, we aren't fully aware of how our thoughts can, for example, generate emotions that create other reactions, which give rise to still more thoughts and the perpetual cycle of cause and effect.  This endless cycle of action and reaction is what keeps us externally focused.  We're so busy responding to the stimuli of our external surroundings that we never notice the nonstop production of thoughts generated by our internal operating system.

Most of the time we are powerless to stop this kind of mental activity because the mind, as we like to say, has a mind of its own!  But this is precisely why we need to begin learning how to observe our thoughts.  With regular practice of the exercise we're about to learn, we can slow down and become more aware of the thoughts our internal operating system is generating.  This process is one that must be approached with care, attempting to dominate our internal operating system will only be met with resistance.  The mind is a powerful part of our whole being.  We must respect and embrace our internal operating system even as we move toward the goal of exercising a greater degree of control.

Exercise:
What I want to do now is introduce you to some exercises for beginning to observe your thoughts.  It's important at this stage that we do not judge our thoughts or try to correct our thinking, but simply observe our thoughts as they arise.

Instructions:
To start, I want each of you to think of a subject--something you enjoy--that you will think about during this exercise.  You won't be asked to reveal your subject so what you choose to think about is up to you.  Take a few minutes now to think of a subject.
Does everyone have a subject?

We're going to take about five minutes during which time I want you to think only about your topic.  As you're thinking, see if you can become aware that you're thinking, as if you were a third party to your thoughts. 

Please sit comfortably in your chair with your hands resting comfortably on your legs.  Place your feet flat on the floor.  You may choose to close your eyes (recommended), or look at an object a few feet in front of you with an unfocused gaze. (What we're trying to avoid is allowing our sense of sight to direct our thoughts.)  Take a deep breath (inhale through the nose, exhale slowing through the mouth), repeat.  I want you to relax and remain relaxed throughout the exercise.

Now, as you feel yourself relaxing begin thinking about your subject.  Remember, only think about the one subject.  Note: Don't worry about the time, just remember when the time is up to very slowly open your eyes.  Don't rush.  Ok?

Group Discussion
Q:  Ok, what happened?  Were you able to think exclusively about your subject, or did other thoughts come up?  Were you able to observe your thoughts as you were thinking them?  What did that feel like?  (A third party?)

Instructions:
Let's try another exercise.  This time I want you to clear your mind of all thoughts--don't think of anything.  This exercise is the opposite of what we just did.  Clear your mind of all subjects.  Does everyone understand?

Again, we'll take about 5 minutes.  As before when the time is up, I want you to remember to open your eyes very slowly.  Ok?

Again, sit comfortably, hands on your legs, feet flat on the floor, close your eyes or look at an object with an unfocused gaze.   Again, let's take a deep breath and feel your body relaxing as you slowly exhale.  As you feel relaxed let your mind go blank.

Group Discussion
Q:  Ok, what happened this time?  Was anyone able to not think any thoughts? (How did you do that?)

S:  This is a good example of how the mind works.  Regardless of your intention to think of nothing, your mind offers up a steady stream of thoughts, despite your intention.  Would you agree?

Instructions:
Ok, let's try one more exercise.  This time I want you to be aware of your thoughts as you were in the last exercise.  Only this time as soon as you're aware of thinking a thought try to release it by disconnecting from it.  You can do this by simply withdrawing your attention, or by using your imagination.  For example, imagine the thought as a bird, you release the thought by imagining the bird flying away.  Or, if you like, tie your thought to an imaginary helium balloon and let it float away.  Again we are practicing observing our thoughts and in this exercise taking it a step further by purposely choosing to let the thought go as soon as we become aware of it.

As before, we'll take about 5 minutes.  When the time is up, I want you to remember to open your eyes very slowly.  Sit comfortably, close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel yourself relaxing as you exhale slowly.  When you feel relaxed…begin the exercise.

Group Discussion
Q:  What happened this time?
      When did you become aware of your thought?
      Were you then able to detach from it and release it?  Did the thought come back?
      What sense do you have about your ability to observe your thoughts?

S:  The purpose of these exercises is to introduce you to another view of your mind.  To show you that with a little focused attention you can indeed observe your own thinking.   

An excellent way to begin conditioning your mind is to practice this simple exercise on a daily basis.  Start with 10 minutes and do nothing but observe your thoughts.  Allow thoughts to arise naturally, when you become aware that you're thinking a thought detach from it by letting it go.  Initially, it's best to do this in a quiet place without interruptions.  Always begin by getting into a comfortable sitting position and allowing your body to relax, but don't slump.  From this relaxed state remain conscious of your thoughts and your surroundings.  And always remember to bring yourself back to a fully alert stage by slowly opening your eyes.

Q:  How do these exercises help us gain greater control over our internal operating system?

A:  Simply by showing us a way of slowing down and becoming more aware of our thoughts.  As random thoughts arise and we practice detaching from them we are beginning to condition our mind.  This is a very subtle process, attempting to assert your will in conditioning the mind is to be avoided.  As we said at the outset trying to force the internal operating system into submission doesn't work and will be resisted.  Remember this system is part of you, so be kind to yourself!

Sometimes we can also use this practice to gain clarity about a specific problem or issue of concern.  Submit the problem to your internal operating system as neutrally as possible.  Then observe the thoughts that come up.  Try to remain open to different viewpoints.

Q:  Why is becoming aware of our thoughts important?

Key Concept:  A primary function of our internal operating system is the generation of thoughts.  What we think drives our actions.  Becoming more aware of our thoughts provides us with an opportunity to exercise more control over our actions.



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  In our next segment we'll discuss some possible ways of handling fear in connection with change...  As always, I welcome your input and please feel free to ask questions.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

The purpose of this course is to help us understand the dynamics of change.  As we've seen there's a direct correlation between our perception of change and how our internal operating system automatically reacts.  The first step is to become more aware of how our internal operating system processes change.  In the second section of part three we've begun discussing methods for furthering our awareness of our IOS, and ways to begin working within ourselves to consciously override the IOS and choose a different reaction.  The goal is to lessen the influence and impact that change has on our sanity and well-being.

Today our discussion is about working with fear.  Whether we realize it or not, fear is the driving force underlying many of our reactions to change.  We've already said we often confuse fear with other thoughts and feelings--even at times thoughts as seemingly rational as logic and objectivity.  Fear is a part of us, its not to be cast out; rather we need to recognize when our thoughts and actions are being driven by fear.  Learning to work with fear is essential to the goal of reducing the impact that change has on our health and well-being…


Methods for Handling Fear

Q:  From the first section of part three: what is fear?

A:  An emotion.

Q:  And what creates or underlies our emotions?

A:  Thoughts.

Q:  So what do we find at the core of fear?  (Thoughts!)

S:  Interesting that in addressing fear--a significant factor in our experience of change--we immediately discover yet another link to the importance of becoming aware of our thoughts.

S:  We've acknowledged that fear has a purpose, but we've also shown that when we allow fear to control us it can block actions necessary to moving forward, as well as thwarting opportunities to extend our knowledge.  What we want to discuss now are ways we can lessen the impact that fear has on us.

Q:  Let's review briefly; what's the primary reason our internal operating system triggers fear?
     
A:  Our internal operating system is programmed to respond to anything that may be a threat to our self-preservation.  It triggers fear as a way of keeping us from harm and danger.

Q:  Where change is involved what typically causes our internal operating system to trigger fear?

A:  Frequently it's an unknown created by a change in circumstances.

Q:  One last question, in triggering fear does our internal operating system make a distinction between real and imagined fear?

A:  No.  Our reactions may vary, but the important thing to remember is our internal operating system triggers fear whether it's real or not.

S:  Whether a perceived threat is real or imagined is one area where we've said there's some room to work with fear.  What we need to understand is we are interpreters of our experience.  Remember how we demonstrated we could create fear simply by thinking certain thoughts?  When we are faced with change it's often our interpretation of the unknown that triggers fear.  We set off our own fear by attempting to imagine what a particular change means.  Most of the time, it's impossible to know what it means.  But that doesn't keep our internal operating system from trying to interpret the unknown--often imagining a threat and triggering fear in the process.

S:  So when we're experiencing fear we need to evaluate the extent to which the circumstances reflect real or imagined danger.  This can be difficult to determine particularly under the duress of change.  However, generally speaking, fear that is evoked by change is more likely to be imagined.  Real danger on the other hand, tends to be known.  Even in unfolding circumstances real danger is likely to be immediately recognizable.

Key Concept:  Key to addressing feelings of fear is the ability to more accurately interpret our experience.  Is the fear we're experiencing more imagined than real?  We can trigger fear by mentally projecting the past or future even when no real danger is present.

Exercise:
Let's do an exercise now that demonstrates how tricky it can be to evaluate whether our fears are real or imagined.  I think we'll find the lines between the two are often blurred and as individuals we have different perceptions of what's real and imagined.  Remember too, that fear does have its place, and in honoring ourselves we must accept fear as part of us.  By approaching fear and its purpose with reverence and understanding, we are positioning ourselves to work with fear.

Instructions
I have ten situations that I'll read and I want you to evaluate whether your fear would be real or imagined under these circumstances.  There are no right or wrong answers here. 

1. Standing on a small open balcony on the 12th floor of a high rise.  (Real or Imagined)
2. Standing on the top rung of a six-foot ladder. (Real or Imagined)
3. Driving on a two-lane, not divided, highway at 60 mph. (Real or Imagined)
4. Riding a motorcycle. (Real or Imagined)
5. Feeding a bear marshmallows through a partly rolled down window. (Real or Imagined)
6. Forgetting to turn off a burner on your stove. (Real or Imagined)
7. Shooting a gun. (Real or Imagined)
8. Having only enough money to feed your family this week. (Real or Imagined)
9. Losing your job. (Real or Imagined)
10. Giving a presentation to a group of people. (Real or Imagined)

S:  As we can see the interpretation of real or imagined fear is often dependent on our individual perspective.  Some situations that pose real danger, like driving a car, shooting a gun, or riding a motorcycle, may not evoke as much fear as less physically dangerous circumstances such as losing a job or giving a presentation.

Q:  Why do you think that is?

A:  One answer could be that the dangers associated with driving a car, riding a motorcycle or shooting a gun are known; and we believe by exercising skill and caution that we can mitigate some of the risk.  Whereas losing a job or giving a presentation represent unknowns--we won't know how it turns out until we go through the process.

Another possible answer is the more we do something without having our fears realized, the less threat is perceived by our internal operating system.  We become acclimated to the conditions.  Riding a motorcycle or driving a car may be dangerous, but the more we do it without having an accident the more confident we become and the less fear we experience.  Wouldn't this also be true for less physically dangerous situations like public speaking?  The more you do it, the more comfortable you feel.

S:  So one of the things we might observe about fear, whether it's real or imagined, is it becomes less potent over time.  We can acclimate to conditions that initially produce fear with the passage of time and by learning from our experience.  This is because time and learning enable us to develop a new 'known' around what initially triggered our fears.

Q:  So why is it that certain types of change evoke fear?

A:  Primarily because these changes represent new or different conditions when compared to our normal situation.  For example, even though we may have become acclimated to the danger of driving a car, what happens when we're driving along and suddenly someone pulls out and we have to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident?  (Our fear is instantly awakened)

S:  Another way of determining whether our fears are real or imagined, or have shifted from real to imagined, is by observing our thoughts.  As an emotion the feeling of fear is much easier to recognize than what we're thinking.  But since we know that thoughts produce emotions we can use the feeling to work back to our thoughts.  (This will likely require sitting quietly and contemplating the situation.)  The objective is to learn whether the thoughts underlying our fear are projections of past events or 'what ifs' masquerading as future outcomes.

From our example above: where a car suddenly pulls out in front of us, the real danger ends when we successfully avoid an accident.  But we may continue to perpetuate our fear by making projections about what might have happened if we hadn't been paying attention.  Under circumstances like this, fear can quickly turn to anger, but the anger is a mask for a mind still fearful of what 'might' have happened.

S:  When change confronts us with an unknown our internal operating system's first reaction is to begin searching our database for similar experiences, if it comes up empty it begins conjuring up imagined outcomes.  This instinctive need to know can easily evoke fear in the process.  For most of us triggering fear in this way is unavoidable.  But if upon reflection, we determine our fear is more imagined than real, how can we reduce the feeling of fear?

Focusing on the Present

A:  We can reduce or lessen fear by redirecting our thoughts to the present.  We do this by recognizing and releasing any thoughts of the past or future, and refocusing our attention on what is happening in the present moment.  This requires some practice, but intentionally redirecting our attention to the present releases the thoughts our internal operating system is using to trigger fear.  However, remember that the mind's need to know is so strong that it often returns to thinking about the past or future.  And doing so can re-trigger our fears all over again.  With a little patience and practice this technique is very effective at reducing or eliminating fear.

S:  One of the reasons it's effective is there's nothing in the present to trigger our
fear.  If we were endangered in the present, our internal operating system would be focused on the immediate problem--it wouldn't have time to ruminate on the past or imagine the future.

S:  Fear is a powerful emotion that definitely has an impact on our actions.  In cases of change it prevents us from letting go of the known, may impede the learning process, and results in denying us the benefit of further growth and advancement.  For most of us fear isn't something we can eliminate, its part of our experience.  What we can do is become more aware of how fear influences our actions, and when fear is largely a projection of our imagination use the methods we've discussed here to lessen the effect.



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  In our next segment we discuss the only three realms from which to derive a sense of knowing…  As always, I welcome your comments and encourage any questions you may have.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

What we know, or think we know, plays a critical role in our sense of control.  What we know informs our actions, and those actions produce consequences.  If the consequences match the expected outcome, we're happy.  If not, we're obligated to evaluate what we thought we knew and to make adjustments accordingly.  In this segment we discuss the three realms from which our sense of knowing comes.  And why knowing from where our thoughts are emanating is an important part of dealing with change…


Past, Present, Future

S:  In discussing methods of handling fear, we said that our internal operating system often triggers fear when attempting to interpret the outcome of an unknown.  It does this by projecting previous experiences onto the present circumstances, or by playing 'what if' games with the future.  These actions are all about our internal operating system's attempts to maintain control over the outer environment.

S:  In previous discussions we've said that a big part of our sense of control comes from what we know.  So where does our sense of knowing come from?  It comes from our direct experience of right now, from our memories of previous experience, and from our expectations of tomorrow.  In short, our sense of knowing is drawn from the three realms of past, present and future.  However, just like real and imagined fear, it's not always easy to discern from which realm we're drawing our sense of knowing.  And as our discussion on fear just revealed a sense of knowing that relies on the past or projections of the future can unwittingly impede our progress.

S:  A number of years ago the Harvard School of Medicine for Mind/Body Wellness came out with a national program on stress reduction.  I became interested because it was one of the first programs, to my knowledge, to link how we use our minds with the creation of stress.  They conducted a study on the amount of time the average person spends thinking about the past, present and future.  The results were fascinating.  They found 40% of the average person's mental activity was spent dwelling on the past.  They found another 50% of the average person's mental activity was spent thinking about the future.  Which left only 10% of their mental activity focused in the present.

Their conclusion was people were creating stress for themselves by thinking about the past and the future.  A conclusion that we could draw as well based on what we've been learning about our inner operating system's use of past memories and future projections to create fear. 

Q:  What's the value of memory--of being able to recall the past?

A:  Have you ever been around an elderly person who is experiencing short-term memory loss?  They often ask the same questions over and over because they can't remember what they just asked.  This provides us with some insight into the importance of memory.  Memory is critical to the learning process.  Facts and figures certainly, but also learning from our experiences, and for recalling the results of our actions.  Memory is critical to building relationships and interacting with others.  It's also the means to surveying our progress, and a method of delineating the passage of time.  So being able to recall the past has a lot of positive attributes.

Q:  But are there negative consequences to being able to recall the past?

A:  Well, we've just been discussing how our internal operating system can create a sense of fear right now, simply by recalling certain past memories.  Memory allows us to replay the same event over and over.  For example, if we make a mistake, being able to replay that mistake over and over can leave an indelible mark on our psyche.  Memories are imprinted via our interpretations of events, meaning events are recorded according to how we interpreted them.  For example, what we remember about past learning experiences can have a lot to do with our success in new learning environments.  Previous experiences with change can easily influence our interpretation of current changes.  What we're suggesting is our past can figure prominently in the limitations we place on ourselves in the present.  What happened in the past does not reflect the exact same circumstances as today.

Key Concept:  What happened in the past can only serve as a guideline, not a guarantee, of what will happen in the present or the future.

S:  So the gift of memory holds both positive and negative attributes depending on how we choose to use it.  However, many of us unwittingly let the past rule the present--by dictating our present actions.  Since our present actions contribute to the unfolding of future events--the past can also be seen as influencing our future.  Something to think about!

Q:  Now, let's turn our attention to the future.  What's the value of having an imagination and being able to think about the future?

A:  Imagination makes it possible to envision a future different from today.  It gives us hope.  Imagination reflects the mind's eye where all things are first created--the fountainhead of creativity.  We use imagination to conceive new ideas or expand on existing ones.  The future is the canvas on which we paint our desires and color our dreams.  From this perspective, our ability to imagine the future has some very positive attributes.

Q:  But are there negative consequences to our ability to imagine the future?

A:  The future symbolizes the unknown; if our internal operating system feels threatened it uses imagination to create a known where a known does not yet exist.  This is an illusory attempt at manipulating a reality that has yet to unfold.  It speaks to the problem we discussed in connection with fear; our imagination can create fear where there is only the shadow of the unknown.  Yet, the future can only be experienced as a projection of our imagination.  Frequently, the future turns out different than we hoped.  This can lead to a sense of powerlessness in our ability to shape the future.  For example, futuristic sci-fi movies inevitably portray us fighting evildoers or some kind of monster, which is simply a current mindset imposed on the future.  This is a good example of how our past manages to dominate our actions and influence the future.  Finally, let's not forget that the future can only be revealed in the present moment.  An unknown created today can only be revealed as a future event when the present moment reaches that point.

S:  So like the past, the ability to imagine the future has both positive and negative attributes depending on how we choose to use it.

Key Concept:  The future is based on constantly changing variables--anything is possible.  However, the degree to which we can separate reality from imagined reality is the degree to which we remain balanced and grounded.

Q:  Well, what about the present, does it seem reasonable that the average person spends only 10% of their mental activity in the present?

Q:  Does this reflect a presumption on our part about the relative importance of the past, present and future?

A:  There could be some logic associated with such a presumption, after all we have a huge amount of historical information stored in the mind.  The future has no limits from the standpoint of our imagination.  And the present, well, it's this very small momentary snapshot of current awareness.  So, from the perspective of an undisciplined mind--all that stored data and endless projections of imagination--could definitely make the present seem rather inconsequential.

Q:  What do you suppose is the importance of the present?

A:  Well, for one thing, without the present moment, there is no past or future.  The present--this moment right now--is the only true reality that we know.  It's in this moment that we are able to recall the past or imagine the future.  We don't return to a moment in the past, we have a mental recollection of it.  We can't transport ourselves into future, we create a mental image of it using our imagination.  Does our recollection or projection have the same certainty and tangible reality of the present moment?  It simply cannot.

S:  In discussing strategies for reducing imagined fear the suggestion was to redirect our thoughts back to the present.  In doing this we're directing the mind to leave an imagined reality and return to what is real in the present moment.  Any thoughts or desire to change the past can only be changed by actions in the present.  Any hope of an imagined future can only be realized by actions taken in the present.  The truth of our reality--despite the important attributes of the past and future--is we will always and forever remain in the present.

Q:  Are we saying that because we never leave the present that we shouldn't plan or set goals for the future?

A:  Not at all.  When do we plan and set goals?  In the only time we have--the present moment. The point is not to become so focused on planning the future that we forget to experience the present.  Without becoming aware of our mental habits the present moment is easily consumed with attention focused on the past or future.  Those thoughts prevent us from being fully aware of what's happening in this moment.

S:  It's interesting to note that the more focused we are in the present the easier it is to observe our thoughts, become aware of our actions, and really see the different processes responsible for producing outcomes.  Attempting to be more centered in the present increases our awareness of time.  We are less likely to be paralyzed by fear over an unknown--realizing that time will reveal the outcome.  Also, we are more apt to see the actions that result in change--making it less of a surprise.

Q:  There are many excellent reasons for staying focused in the present.
      But are there any negatives to experiencing the present?

A:  Unlike the past and future that exhibit facets of the unreal, the opposite is sometimes a problem with the present--our reality can be too real.  We sometimes have difficulty accepting our present circumstances.  If anything about our situation isn't fun, is painful or hurts, our reaction is often a desire to escape the current reality.  The avenues of escape from the present are legion--everything from frequent mental excursions to ingesting substances aimed at altering the senses.  Of course, it's not possible to actually escape the present so wherever we redirect our attention it's a temporary escape at best.

Key Concept:  The magic of the present is that everything we do happens within the envelope of the here and now.  The importance of the present is it reflects our truest measure of reality.

S:  As individuals our reality may not be outwardly glamorous or famous, but from an expanded view each of our realities exhibits great beauty simply in our being.  Remember too, that being endowed with the gift of self-consciousness enables us to play a part in creating our reality.  As we will discuss in a moment all actions create effects, and over time all things change.  We might conclude that focusing our attention in the present has a lot to recommend it.

S:  The past, present and future represent the three playing fields on which our
internal operating system functions. These fields represent the range of thoughts from which we draw our interpretations about the world.  If we intend to exercise a greater degree of control over our internal operating system we must become more adept at recognizing which field we are using to form our interpretations.  The mission in this segment was to provide some insight into the advantages and disadvantages of each field.  It's not a matter of which field to use--we need all three--it's about integrating the best aspects of all three fields into a more effective way of living and being in the world.



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  In the next segment our discussion turns toward summarizing and tieing up loose ends...  As always, I'm interested in your comments or if you have any questions.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

Central to the whole process of dealing with change are the thoughts our internal operating system generates when it perceives change.  Our IOS is the mechanism, if you'll excuse the reference to a system that is anything but mechanical, that drives our actions.  As we've seen every action creates an effect…some of which will be interpreted as change.  The result is a cyclical interaction that exemplifies the natural evolution and progression of our experience.  This segment reviews these fundamental building blocks and suggests that only by becoming more aware of our thinking and what lies behind it can we expect to change our actions and thereby produce a different experience for ourselves and for those around us…


Actions Create Effects

S:  Everything we've been discussing in this second section of part three is showing us that by changing our actions we can create new effects.  For example, when change disrupts our ability to control the outer environment, instead of trying to regain control we use a new action--turning our attention to our internal operating system's response to the outer environment.  To determine how our internal operating system is responding requires us to become more attuned to what we're thinking.  Achieving that means taking the time to slowdown and observe our thoughts.  The perception of change can generate thoughts that trigger fear.  We learned that redirecting our thoughts to the present can reduce and even eliminate fear.  By observing our thoughts of the past, present, and future, we are able to see how our thoughts are actions that have varying effects on us.

Q:  From our exercise in part one: what did we conclude from trying to write down everything we do that's not an action?

A:  That everything we do is an action.

Q:  And every action creates what?

A:  An effect.

Key Concept:  One of the main objectives throughout this course is for us to see that every action we take creates an effect.

S:  Everything we do is creating an effect.  And where those effects are not contributing to our health and well-being, we need to change our actions to create a new effect that does.

Q:  Sounds simple, right?

A:  Well, maybe.  As long as we extend our awareness to an understanding of what drives our actions in the first place.  We know now that our thoughts, which are synthesized from sensory input by our internal operating system, are the primary actions that drive our emotions and create the effect of a self-perpetuating cycle of actions.  But without some knowledge of how thoughts are formed and how our internal operating system functions, what drives our actions is mostly obscured from us.  This fact contributes significantly to our inability to change.

Q:  Which begs the question: how can we change our actions if we don't know what causes us to act?

A:  What we've tried to share in part three are the natural barriers we face when trying to make changes.  Can we change?  Certainly!  But our internal operating system doesn’t make it easy; it takes work.  The operating system software we're running was designed to keep our species alive, and it's done a great job--we're thriving.  But our successes have created new challenges in the process.  And principal among these challenges is our ability to adapt to the changes we've created.  In many respects we sense the need for change.  But our ability to change is hampered by our internal operating system's programming.  One analogy we could draw is our internal operating system is very much like the rails on which a train runs.  We as passengers are free to look around and enjoy the ride, but the train goes where the rails go.

S:  Our internal operating system is like those rails.  Despite being aware of the need for change, perhaps even having a desire to change, our internal operating system still resists change for all the reasons we've been discussing.

Patterns of Thought

S:  At the root of our internal operating system is our thinking.  Thoughts drive our actions as the famous biblical quote suggests--"As a man thinketh, so shall he become."  With little recognition of the process our internal operating system programs us with an individualized view of the world.  This 'worldview' is a derivative of our thinking and forms the basis of our actions.  What we don't often realize is our worldview is confined to the sensory input of our direct experience.  And that our views are further limited by an internal operating system that is constantly evaluating and filtering new sensory input against the standards we have already set.  What's interesting about our little universe of one is we become quite comfortable with the idea that our view is not only true, but is also widely held by others.

Q:  Let me ask you a question, in general do you have a sense that you are a good person?

A:  Every person feels this way, regardless of what we've said or done, there is some redeeming light that resides in all of us that leaves us with the sense that "I am a good person."

S:  The idea that I am a good person may ironically be one of the factors that keeps us from exploring our thinking further.  It's a way of accepting ourselves and being comfortable with who we are.

Q:  So what's wrong with that?

A:  Nothing.  Except that progress depends on growth and any growth we're achieving is largely subconscious.  We think we know why we're here, but our internal operating system is still in control of our reactions to most things.  If we're going to exercise more control over our internal operating system we have to continue looking for ways to uncover how it's functioning.

Q:  So how can we do that?

A:  Well, one way is to simply pay more attention to how we respond to all the little events in our lives.  If we watch ourselves long enough we'll begin to see patterns in our behavior.  For example, if someone cuts in front of you on the freeway, do you get angry?  When something happens, do you blame others?  How do you feel when you make a mistake?  If your last experience with change was unpleasant, how do you think you'll respond the next time it comes up?  These patterns of behavior give us an inside look at the way our internal operating system has programmed itself to respond.

Key Concept:  Becoming aware of our habituated responses to common situations is another way of beginning to observe how we behave.  This can open the door to further exploration of the thinking that drives our actions.

Exercise
What are your thoughts on… liberals, conservatives, the color pink, washing dishes, reality TV, rap music, traffic jams, work, rodents, grocery shopping.

Q:  Do you have a strong opinion, mild opinion, or no opinion on these subjects?

Q:  Did you have any trouble forming an opinion?  Do you feel your opinion is justified?

Q:  What was the basis of your opinion, direct experience, the opinions of others, just a feeling?

S:  It's important to understand that in the process of forming our thoughts we have developed justifications for why we think the way we do.  Our justifications don't have to be logical or based on fact for us to rationalize our thoughts.  Most of the time we generalize--depending on what we've heard, observed or experienced--we tend to let this limited input represent what we know about a subject.  Feeling our views are justified plays an important part in our sense of knowing and the control we have over our environment.  To this end our internal operating system's response to external conditions is automatic.  The need for control and the need to know are powerful barriers to questioning the justifications for our thinking.  Only in becoming aware of this are we able to begin observing our patterns of response.  As we do, over time we find ourselves in a position to evaluate our programmed responses to the people and things in our surroundings, as well as the impact that our responses have on us. 

Exercise
Q:  Let's take one of the examples from our exercise above and see if our logic holds water.  (Choose one of the examples that elicits a strong opinion.)

Q:  What are your justifications for your strong opinion?
      Is this a generalization?

Q:  Could this example be viewed from exactly the opposite of your opinion?
      (Ex. Doesn't like rodents.  Is there anything positive about rodents?)

A:  Do you see that we can't go there without questioning our beliefs--without questioning our sense of knowing?

S:  We all have patterns of thought--automatic ways of reacting to situations, people, and the environment around us.  Becoming aware of our patterns is another method of exposing the functioning of our internal operating system.  Once you see a pattern: first, don't beat yourself up--remember we all have patterns.  Second, work with yourself to see if you can delay your reaction--you may think it, but try not to act on it.  This new action is likely to create a different effect, both for you, and those around you.  Not only is the outcome often surprising, but with time and continued practice you're on the right track to making change work for you!



Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  The next segment is our last!  In it we'll offer a couple final ideas that you can use to work with yourself in easing the change process...  As always, I'm interested in your feedback and/or any questions you may have.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.

With this segment we draw to a close the Everything Changes! series.  One of the main ideas in this course has been to get us looking at how we think--to look at how our internal operating system has been conditioned to automatically respond to the external changes that we experience.  The power generated through expanded self-awareness is in the increased freedom to choose.  By exercising more control over your IOS you are choosing to exercise a right that only you may access.  In this last segment we offer some thoughts on the power of positive thinking and offer yet another method for increasing awareness of our thinking…


The Power of Positive Thinking

S:  One of the patterns in our thinking is the tendency to be polarized, either positively or negatively.  Now, no one wants to believe his or her pattern of thinking is negative.  But let's face it, it's easier to spot what's wrong, than it is to spot what's right.  In fact, anytime we perceive change the problems are usually fairly obvious.  What's less obvious from the outset are any positive elements that may accompany the change.  Yet, this positive outlook is expressed in an old saying: "Every cloud has a silver lining."

Q:  How often do we recognize a positive benefit from a change that happened a while back?

A:  Unless we're looking, it's unusual to notice any.  But this is another way of subtly
working with our internal operating system.  If, for example, we adopt a belief that everything happens for a reason and a purpose, we're training our operating system to look for the reason.  If we look for an immediate reason it's likely to be negative.  Remember that the positive benefit in any situation usually takes some time to become apparent.  So clarify with yourself that you're looking for a positive reason and then have the patience to wait for it to show up.

Q:  Why do you suppose the positive reason isn't immediately obvious?

A:  The answer is in the fundamentals of change.  Every change involves circumstances that are only revealed with the passage of time.  In other words, every unknown becomes known over a period of time--"only time will tell."  When a change takes place it takes time for any positive benefits to become apparent.

Q:  How do we know there's a positive benefit in every situation?

A:  The only way to know for sure is to start looking.  The best kind of faith is faith that's earned.  Prove it to yourself.  Just remember that you have to give your internal operating system a new instruction.  You're training yourself to look for something that's previously gone unnoticed.  Be patient and yet firm in your expectation of a positive benefit and you'll know it when you see it.

S:  It's easier to be a pessimist than an optimist because our senses are naturally focused on immediate problems.  The programming of our internal operating system is heavily weighted toward the sensory input from our surroundings.  Our interpretation of the immediate circumstances can easily lead to an unbalanced perspective and a negative point of view.

Example:
As a father I began to notice that my first response to my kids wanting to do something was, no.  Of course, this wasn't the answer they wanted to hear so they would continue their quest for approval.  After bearing the brunt of a relentless onslaught my position would often slip to "well, maybe."  Sensing a crack in my resolve only intensified their efforts until I finally acquiesced.

Is this an example of bad parenting, habituated patterns of response or my dominant negative polarization?  Maybe all of the above.  But what I slowly began to notice about my pattern of response was the underlying thinking that drove it.  I needed time to adequately evaluate all the ramifications of their request.  My initial response of 'no' was based on not having had that time.

So after recognizing the pattern I stopped saying 'no' at the outset and instead said, 'let me think about it.'  In changing my response I was able to convey a truer measure of my thoughts and as you might imagine, the kids responded differently too.  'Let me think about it,' leaves room for possibility, it's not a wildly positive, yes, but neither is it a flatly negative, no.  This is a small example of how becoming more aware of our thoughts enables us to change our actions and create a new effect for us and the people with whom we interact.

S:  The negative perspective often assumes that a positive outlook is naive--one isn't really seeing the world as it is.  But this perspective implies its own interpretation of reality is more accurate.  In truth, neither outlook is more accurate simply because both are based on interpretation.  Instead, the question we ought to be asking ourselves is which outlook contributes more to a sense of well-being, and which contributes more to a sense of fear and anxiety? 

S:  Becoming aware of our predominant polarization is another means to gaining more control over our internal operating system.  Choosing to cultivate a more positive outlook is a conscious decision.  Without an awareness of this choice our internal operating system frequently defaults to a negative polarity.  It sees the problems, but it can't see the 'silver lining' because there hasn't been enough time for that to develop.  This is a big reason for our resistance to change--our internal operating system is reacting to the problem, rather than recognizing the problem as part of a process.  Does that make sense?

Q:  So if we trained ourselves not to react negatively by cultivating a more positive outlook, do you think this would have an impact on how we feel?

A:  It does.  By changing our outlook we're changing our thoughts (actions)--which leads to changing how we feel.  We haven't changed reality, we've simply made a different choice about how we're going to interpret our reality and this definitely affects how we feel.

S:  So what can we do to change our outlook?

A:  One of the best methods is to adopt some new thoughts.  Hasn't this been our theme--thoughts are at the center of our actions?  What we're talking about are new ways to interpret the events of our lives.  We're not changing reality--just choosing how we want to interpret it.  These ideas are based on expanded awareness.  They can provide us with another angle from which to view our experience.  I have found these helpful in my own journey, but you decide whether any of them resonate with you.  The whole idea is to utilize thoughts that open us to the potential of growth and that produce less stress and strain in our daily existence.

Affirming Thougts  
1. In each life there is destiny--living is the means to fulfilling it.
2. Accept responsibility for all that happens in your life.  Make no exceptions.
3. Each day the lessons we are here to learn arise naturally.
4. We are never given a challenge bigger than we can handle.
5. Everyday, cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life.
6. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose.
7. Use the change in life to learn about yourself--how you react and why.
8. We all make assumptions; be willing to explore a few of your own.
9. Choose to believe that every cloud contains a silver lining.
10. Expect the best, but be willing to accept what is.
11.  The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
12.  Remember, as a man or woman thinketh, so shall he or she become.
   
S:  It's interesting that we frequently think we want change.  But calling for change, even implementing change, is different from the process of undergoing change.  When we are faced with the fear and stress that change creates, we are called upon to exhibit patience and the ability to understand our internal operating system's reaction.  This kind of internal control has to be learned.

Without an expanded understanding of ourselves, we are left to assume that the way we are is the way it is.  But the way we are is based on the way we think.  Our assumptions are the thoughts driving our actions.  Without an understanding of how our internal operating system functions, there's little chance of changing our response to the experience of change.  Yet, this is the key to our advancement and to easing our difficulty with change.

Key Concept:  Developing a positive outlook aligns us with the natural flow of all things.  It doesn't mean we won't encounter problems, it means we work at solutions with the positive expectancy that all problems, given time, find resolution.


Keeping a Journal

S:  There is another way of becoming more aware of our thoughts.  It's a powerful method for pinpointing our feelings and identifying our thinking.  It may bring to the surface patterns of thought.  But it's also a really good way of distilling mental fragments into fully formed, conscious thoughts.  We're talking about using a journal as another means of revealing our thinking.  The process of writing causes us to think about our thoughts.  It's not uncommon to find ideas being expressed that we couldn't fully sort through in our head. 

Q:  Has anyone here tried writing in a journal?  What was your experience?
      How is a journal different from a diary?

A:  It depends on what you choose to record.  A diary may record the outer events happening in our lives.  For example, "talked to so-and-so today, he or she was happy the sun was shining."  On the other hand, to the extent that someone chooses to reflect on his or her thoughts in regard to these outer events, this is getting to the primary reason for suggesting we keep a journal. 

S:  A journal helps us explore the thoughts and feelings being generated by our internal operating system.  It's a method for becoming more aware of how our operating system is processing the events of our lives.  As we are increasingly able to clarify our thoughts, we not only become more attuned to ourselves, but we are better able to assess how we are reacting to our surroundings.  This naturally puts us in a better position to evaluate our response and to change it, if we think it's necessary.

Q:  When is a good time to start keeping a journal?

A:  Anytime.  But it may be particularly effective whenever we're faced with change or some other troubling event that we need to work through.  If you find it effective, make it a habit--attempt to write something everyday. 

Key Concept:  Keeping a journal engages us in a process of reducing our thoughts to words.  As any writer will tell you, it's not always easy!  The value of this exercise is in developing a conscious awareness of the thoughts driving our actions.


Conclusion

These days we often hear that change has become a constant.  But it should be apparent from the fundamentals that change has always been a constant.  The difference is that today the actions of an increasingly populous world are generating the unmistakable perception of accelerated change.  From an expanded view an increased awareness of change and the multiplicity of challenges that accompany it, make the perfect primer for the next stages of our developmental journey.

Although we often look for answers everywhere except ourselves, an expanded awareness of change points to the answers as residing in us.  Only in developing more insight into ourselves can we find the answers that enable us to respond differently to the effects created by change.  This means becoming aware and taking responsibility for the reactions of our internal operating system.  To the degree that we are able to gain more control of our operating system, we also reap the rewards--from the new effects we create for ourselves, to the differences our actions create for others.

The quest to achieve more inner control is a gradual developmental process that exempts no one.  It calls for patience, humility, and good judgement--three qualities difficult to achieve in the harried, post-modern society in which we live.  But take heart, for these virtues are often cultivated through working to expand awareness of one's own internal operating system.

It's only in our own imperfection that we find the empathy to embrace others in theirs…

My sincere gratitude to all those who undertake this inner journey of discovery for themselves!     DR


Note to reader: Thanks for reading!  This is the last segment in the series.  My hope is that something in this series has found resonance with you.  I'm open to your comments,  feedback and questions.

Copyright 2008.  The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives.  It is provided for personal use.  I encourage you to share it with your friends.  Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.