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January 2009 
Everything Changes! Ways of Gaining More Control of our IOS No.18
Posted on Sep 8th, 2008
by 
dannyboy
dannyboy
The purpose of this course is to help us understand the dynamics of change. As we've seen there's a direct correlation between our perception of change and how our internal operating system automatically reacts. The first step is to become more aware of how our internal operating system processes change. In the second section of part three we've begun discussing methods for furthering our awareness of our IOS, and ways to begin working within ourselves to consciously override the IOS and choose a different reaction. The goal is to lessen the influence and impact that change has on our sanity and well-being.
Today our discussion is about working with fear. Whether we realize it or not, fear is the driving force underlying many of our reactions to change. We've already said we often confuse fear with other thoughts and feelings--even at times thoughts as seemingly rational as logic and objectivity. Fear is a part of us, its not to be cast out; rather we need to recognize when our thoughts and actions are being driven by fear. Learning to work with fear is essential to the goal of reducing the impact that change has on our health and well-being…
Methods for Handling Fear
Q: From the first section of part three: what is fear?
A: An emotion.
Q: And what creates or underlies our emotions?
A: Thoughts.
Q: So what do we find at the core of fear? (Thoughts!)
S: Interesting that in addressing fear--a significant factor in our experience of change--we immediately discover yet another link to the importance of becoming aware of our thoughts.
S: We've acknowledged that fear has a purpose, but we've also shown that when we allow fear to control us it can block actions necessary to moving forward, as well as thwarting opportunities to extend our knowledge. What we want to discuss now are ways we can lessen the impact that fear has on us.
Q: Let's review briefly; what's the primary reason our internal operating system triggers fear?
A: Our internal operating system is programmed to respond to anything that may be a threat to our self-preservation. It triggers fear as a way of keeping us from harm and danger.
Q: Where change is involved what typically causes our internal operating system to trigger fear?
A: Frequently it's an unknown created by a change in circumstances.
Q: One last question, in triggering fear does our internal operating system make a distinction between real and imagined fear?
A: No. Our reactions may vary, but the important thing to remember is our internal operating system triggers fear whether it's real or not.
S: Whether a perceived threat is real or imagined is one area where we've said there's some room to work with fear. What we need to understand is we are interpreters of our experience. Remember how we demonstrated we could create fear simply by thinking certain thoughts? When we are faced with change it's often our interpretation of the unknown that triggers fear. We set off our own fear by attempting to imagine what a particular change means. Most of the time, it's impossible to know what it means. But that doesn't keep our internal operating system from trying to interpret the unknown--often imagining a threat and triggering fear in the process.
S: So when we're experiencing fear we need to evaluate the extent to which the circumstances reflect real or imagined danger. This can be difficult to determine particularly under the duress of change. However, generally speaking, fear that is evoked by change is more likely to be imagined. Real danger on the other hand, tends to be known. Even in unfolding circumstances real danger is likely to be immediately recognizable.
Key Concept: Key to addressing feelings of fear is the ability to more accurately interpret our experience. Is the fear we're experiencing more imagined than real? We can trigger fear by mentally projecting the past or future even when no real danger is present.
Exercise:
Let's do an exercise now that demonstrates how tricky it can be to evaluate whether our fears are real or imagined. I think we'll find the lines between the two are often blurred and as individuals we have different perceptions of what's real and imagined. Remember too, that fear does have its place, and in honoring ourselves we must accept fear as part of us. By approaching fear and its purpose with reverence and understanding, we are positioning ourselves to work with fear.
Instructions
I have ten situations that I'll read and I want you to evaluate whether your fear would be real or imagined under these circumstances. There are no right or wrong answers here.
1. Standing on a small open balcony on the 12th floor of a high rise. (Real or Imagined)
2. Standing on the top rung of a six-foot ladder. (Real or Imagined)
3. Driving on a two-lane, not divided, highway at 60 mph. (Real or Imagined)
4. Riding a motorcycle. (Real or Imagined)
5. Feeding a bear marshmallows through a partly rolled down window. (Real or Imagined)
6. Forgetting to turn off a burner on your stove. (Real or Imagined)
7. Shooting a gun. (Real or Imagined)
8. Having only enough money to feed your family this week. (Real or Imagined)
9. Losing your job. (Real or Imagined)
10. Giving a presentation to a group of people. (Real or Imagined)
S: As we can see the interpretation of real or imagined fear is often dependent on our individual perspective. Some situations that pose real danger, like driving a car, shooting a gun, or riding a motorcycle, may not evoke as much fear as less physically dangerous circumstances such as losing a job or giving a presentation.
Q: Why do you think that is?
A: One answer could be that the dangers associated with driving a car, riding a motorcycle or shooting a gun are known; and we believe by exercising skill and caution that we can mitigate some of the risk. Whereas losing a job or giving a presentation represent unknowns--we won't know how it turns out until we go through the process.
Another possible answer is the more we do something without having our fears realized, the less threat is perceived by our internal operating system. We become acclimated to the conditions. Riding a motorcycle or driving a car may be dangerous, but the more we do it without having an accident the more confident we become and the less fear we experience. Wouldn't this also be true for less physically dangerous situations like public speaking? The more you do it, the more comfortable you feel.
S: So one of the things we might observe about fear, whether it's real or imagined, is it becomes less potent over time. We can acclimate to conditions that initially produce fear with the passage of time and by learning from our experience. This is because time and learning enable us to develop a new 'known' around what initially triggered our fears.
Q: So why is it that certain types of change evoke fear?
A: Primarily because these changes represent new or different conditions when compared to our normal situation. For example, even though we may have become acclimated to the danger of driving a car, what happens when we're driving along and suddenly someone pulls out and we have to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident? (Our fear is instantly awakened)
S: Another way of determining whether our fears are real or imagined, or have shifted from real to imagined, is by observing our thoughts. As an emotion the feeling of fear is much easier to recognize than what we're thinking. But since we know that thoughts produce emotions we can use the feeling to work back to our thoughts. (This will likely require sitting quietly and contemplating the situation.) The objective is to learn whether the thoughts underlying our fear are projections of past events or 'what ifs' masquerading as future outcomes.
From our example above: where a car suddenly pulls out in front of us, the real danger ends when we successfully avoid an accident. But we may continue to perpetuate our fear by making projections about what might have happened if we hadn't been paying attention. Under circumstances like this, fear can quickly turn to anger, but the anger is a mask for a mind still fearful of what 'might' have happened.
S: When change confronts us with an unknown our internal operating system's first reaction is to begin searching our database for similar experiences, if it comes up empty it begins conjuring up imagined outcomes. This instinctive need to know can easily evoke fear in the process. For most of us triggering fear in this way is unavoidable. But if upon reflection, we determine our fear is more imagined than real, how can we reduce the feeling of fear?
Focusing on the Present
A: We can reduce or lessen fear by redirecting our thoughts to the present. We do this by recognizing and releasing any thoughts of the past or future, and refocusing our attention on what is happening in the present moment. This requires some practice, but intentionally redirecting our attention to the present releases the thoughts our internal operating system is using to trigger fear. However, remember that the mind's need to know is so strong that it often returns to thinking about the past or future. And doing so can re-trigger our fears all over again. With a little patience and practice this technique is very effective at reducing or eliminating fear.
S: One of the reasons it's effective is there's nothing in the present to trigger our
fear. If we were endangered in the present, our internal operating system would be focused on the immediate problem--it wouldn't have time to ruminate on the past or imagine the future.
S: Fear is a powerful emotion that definitely has an impact on our actions. In cases of change it prevents us from letting go of the known, may impede the learning process, and results in denying us the benefit of further growth and advancement. For most of us fear isn't something we can eliminate, its part of our experience. What we can do is become more aware of how fear influences our actions, and when fear is largely a projection of our imagination use the methods we've discussed here to lessen the effect.
Note to reader: Thanks for reading! In our next segment we discuss the only three realms from which to derive a sense of knowing… As always, I welcome your comments and encourage any questions you may have.
Copyright 2008. The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives. It is provided for personal use. I encourage you to share it with your friends. Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.
Today our discussion is about working with fear. Whether we realize it or not, fear is the driving force underlying many of our reactions to change. We've already said we often confuse fear with other thoughts and feelings--even at times thoughts as seemingly rational as logic and objectivity. Fear is a part of us, its not to be cast out; rather we need to recognize when our thoughts and actions are being driven by fear. Learning to work with fear is essential to the goal of reducing the impact that change has on our health and well-being…
Methods for Handling Fear
Q: From the first section of part three: what is fear?
A: An emotion.
Q: And what creates or underlies our emotions?
A: Thoughts.
Q: So what do we find at the core of fear? (Thoughts!)
S: Interesting that in addressing fear--a significant factor in our experience of change--we immediately discover yet another link to the importance of becoming aware of our thoughts.
S: We've acknowledged that fear has a purpose, but we've also shown that when we allow fear to control us it can block actions necessary to moving forward, as well as thwarting opportunities to extend our knowledge. What we want to discuss now are ways we can lessen the impact that fear has on us.
Q: Let's review briefly; what's the primary reason our internal operating system triggers fear?
A: Our internal operating system is programmed to respond to anything that may be a threat to our self-preservation. It triggers fear as a way of keeping us from harm and danger.
Q: Where change is involved what typically causes our internal operating system to trigger fear?
A: Frequently it's an unknown created by a change in circumstances.
Q: One last question, in triggering fear does our internal operating system make a distinction between real and imagined fear?
A: No. Our reactions may vary, but the important thing to remember is our internal operating system triggers fear whether it's real or not.
S: Whether a perceived threat is real or imagined is one area where we've said there's some room to work with fear. What we need to understand is we are interpreters of our experience. Remember how we demonstrated we could create fear simply by thinking certain thoughts? When we are faced with change it's often our interpretation of the unknown that triggers fear. We set off our own fear by attempting to imagine what a particular change means. Most of the time, it's impossible to know what it means. But that doesn't keep our internal operating system from trying to interpret the unknown--often imagining a threat and triggering fear in the process.
S: So when we're experiencing fear we need to evaluate the extent to which the circumstances reflect real or imagined danger. This can be difficult to determine particularly under the duress of change. However, generally speaking, fear that is evoked by change is more likely to be imagined. Real danger on the other hand, tends to be known. Even in unfolding circumstances real danger is likely to be immediately recognizable.
Key Concept: Key to addressing feelings of fear is the ability to more accurately interpret our experience. Is the fear we're experiencing more imagined than real? We can trigger fear by mentally projecting the past or future even when no real danger is present.
Exercise:
Let's do an exercise now that demonstrates how tricky it can be to evaluate whether our fears are real or imagined. I think we'll find the lines between the two are often blurred and as individuals we have different perceptions of what's real and imagined. Remember too, that fear does have its place, and in honoring ourselves we must accept fear as part of us. By approaching fear and its purpose with reverence and understanding, we are positioning ourselves to work with fear.
Instructions
I have ten situations that I'll read and I want you to evaluate whether your fear would be real or imagined under these circumstances. There are no right or wrong answers here.
1. Standing on a small open balcony on the 12th floor of a high rise. (Real or Imagined)
2. Standing on the top rung of a six-foot ladder. (Real or Imagined)
3. Driving on a two-lane, not divided, highway at 60 mph. (Real or Imagined)
4. Riding a motorcycle. (Real or Imagined)
5. Feeding a bear marshmallows through a partly rolled down window. (Real or Imagined)
6. Forgetting to turn off a burner on your stove. (Real or Imagined)
7. Shooting a gun. (Real or Imagined)
8. Having only enough money to feed your family this week. (Real or Imagined)
9. Losing your job. (Real or Imagined)
10. Giving a presentation to a group of people. (Real or Imagined)
S: As we can see the interpretation of real or imagined fear is often dependent on our individual perspective. Some situations that pose real danger, like driving a car, shooting a gun, or riding a motorcycle, may not evoke as much fear as less physically dangerous circumstances such as losing a job or giving a presentation.
Q: Why do you think that is?
A: One answer could be that the dangers associated with driving a car, riding a motorcycle or shooting a gun are known; and we believe by exercising skill and caution that we can mitigate some of the risk. Whereas losing a job or giving a presentation represent unknowns--we won't know how it turns out until we go through the process.
Another possible answer is the more we do something without having our fears realized, the less threat is perceived by our internal operating system. We become acclimated to the conditions. Riding a motorcycle or driving a car may be dangerous, but the more we do it without having an accident the more confident we become and the less fear we experience. Wouldn't this also be true for less physically dangerous situations like public speaking? The more you do it, the more comfortable you feel.
S: So one of the things we might observe about fear, whether it's real or imagined, is it becomes less potent over time. We can acclimate to conditions that initially produce fear with the passage of time and by learning from our experience. This is because time and learning enable us to develop a new 'known' around what initially triggered our fears.
Q: So why is it that certain types of change evoke fear?
A: Primarily because these changes represent new or different conditions when compared to our normal situation. For example, even though we may have become acclimated to the danger of driving a car, what happens when we're driving along and suddenly someone pulls out and we have to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident? (Our fear is instantly awakened)
S: Another way of determining whether our fears are real or imagined, or have shifted from real to imagined, is by observing our thoughts. As an emotion the feeling of fear is much easier to recognize than what we're thinking. But since we know that thoughts produce emotions we can use the feeling to work back to our thoughts. (This will likely require sitting quietly and contemplating the situation.) The objective is to learn whether the thoughts underlying our fear are projections of past events or 'what ifs' masquerading as future outcomes.
From our example above: where a car suddenly pulls out in front of us, the real danger ends when we successfully avoid an accident. But we may continue to perpetuate our fear by making projections about what might have happened if we hadn't been paying attention. Under circumstances like this, fear can quickly turn to anger, but the anger is a mask for a mind still fearful of what 'might' have happened.
S: When change confronts us with an unknown our internal operating system's first reaction is to begin searching our database for similar experiences, if it comes up empty it begins conjuring up imagined outcomes. This instinctive need to know can easily evoke fear in the process. For most of us triggering fear in this way is unavoidable. But if upon reflection, we determine our fear is more imagined than real, how can we reduce the feeling of fear?
Focusing on the Present
A: We can reduce or lessen fear by redirecting our thoughts to the present. We do this by recognizing and releasing any thoughts of the past or future, and refocusing our attention on what is happening in the present moment. This requires some practice, but intentionally redirecting our attention to the present releases the thoughts our internal operating system is using to trigger fear. However, remember that the mind's need to know is so strong that it often returns to thinking about the past or future. And doing so can re-trigger our fears all over again. With a little patience and practice this technique is very effective at reducing or eliminating fear.
S: One of the reasons it's effective is there's nothing in the present to trigger our
fear. If we were endangered in the present, our internal operating system would be focused on the immediate problem--it wouldn't have time to ruminate on the past or imagine the future.
S: Fear is a powerful emotion that definitely has an impact on our actions. In cases of change it prevents us from letting go of the known, may impede the learning process, and results in denying us the benefit of further growth and advancement. For most of us fear isn't something we can eliminate, its part of our experience. What we can do is become more aware of how fear influences our actions, and when fear is largely a projection of our imagination use the methods we've discussed here to lessen the effect.
Note to reader: Thanks for reading! In our next segment we discuss the only three realms from which to derive a sense of knowing… As always, I welcome your comments and encourage any questions you may have.
Copyright 2008. The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives. It is provided for personal use. I encourage you to share it with your friends. Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.
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