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January 2009 
Everything Changes! Ways of Gaining More Control of our IOS No.21
Posted on Sep 19th, 2008
by 
dannyboy
dannyboy
With this segment we draw to a close the Everything Changes! series. One of the main ideas in this course has been to get us looking at how we think--to look at how our internal operating system has been conditioned to automatically respond to the external changes that we experience. The power generated through expanded self-awareness is in the increased freedom to choose. By exercising more control over your IOS you are choosing to exercise a right that only you may access. In this last segment we offer some thoughts on the power of positive thinking and offer yet another method for increasing awareness of our thinking…
The Power of Positive Thinking
S: One of the patterns in our thinking is the tendency to be polarized, either positively or negatively. Now, no one wants to believe his or her pattern of thinking is negative. But let's face it, it's easier to spot what's wrong, than it is to spot what's right. In fact, anytime we perceive change the problems are usually fairly obvious. What's less obvious from the outset are any positive elements that may accompany the change. Yet, this positive outlook is expressed in an old saying: "Every cloud has a silver lining."
Q: How often do we recognize a positive benefit from a change that happened a while back?
A: Unless we're looking, it's unusual to notice any. But this is another way of subtly
working with our internal operating system. If, for example, we adopt a belief that everything happens for a reason and a purpose, we're training our operating system to look for the reason. If we look for an immediate reason it's likely to be negative. Remember that the positive benefit in any situation usually takes some time to become apparent. So clarify with yourself that you're looking for a positive reason and then have the patience to wait for it to show up.
Q: Why do you suppose the positive reason isn't immediately obvious?
A: The answer is in the fundamentals of change. Every change involves circumstances that are only revealed with the passage of time. In other words, every unknown becomes known over a period of time--"only time will tell." When a change takes place it takes time for any positive benefits to become apparent.
Q: How do we know there's a positive benefit in every situation?
A: The only way to know for sure is to start looking. The best kind of faith is faith that's earned. Prove it to yourself. Just remember that you have to give your internal operating system a new instruction. You're training yourself to look for something that's previously gone unnoticed. Be patient and yet firm in your expectation of a positive benefit and you'll know it when you see it.
S: It's easier to be a pessimist than an optimist because our senses are naturally focused on immediate problems. The programming of our internal operating system is heavily weighted toward the sensory input from our surroundings. Our interpretation of the immediate circumstances can easily lead to an unbalanced perspective and a negative point of view.
Example:
As a father I began to notice that my first response to my kids wanting to do something was, no. Of course, this wasn't the answer they wanted to hear so they would continue their quest for approval. After bearing the brunt of a relentless onslaught my position would often slip to "well, maybe." Sensing a crack in my resolve only intensified their efforts until I finally acquiesced.
Is this an example of bad parenting, habituated patterns of response or my dominant negative polarization? Maybe all of the above. But what I slowly began to notice about my pattern of response was the underlying thinking that drove it. I needed time to adequately evaluate all the ramifications of their request. My initial response of 'no' was based on not having had that time.
So after recognizing the pattern I stopped saying 'no' at the outset and instead said, 'let me think about it.' In changing my response I was able to convey a truer measure of my thoughts and as you might imagine, the kids responded differently too. 'Let me think about it,' leaves room for possibility, it's not a wildly positive, yes, but neither is it a flatly negative, no. This is a small example of how becoming more aware of our thoughts enables us to change our actions and create a new effect for us and the people with whom we interact.
S: The negative perspective often assumes that a positive outlook is naive--one isn't really seeing the world as it is. But this perspective implies its own interpretation of reality is more accurate. In truth, neither outlook is more accurate simply because both are based on interpretation. Instead, the question we ought to be asking ourselves is which outlook contributes more to a sense of well-being, and which contributes more to a sense of fear and anxiety?
S: Becoming aware of our predominant polarization is another means to gaining more control over our internal operating system. Choosing to cultivate a more positive outlook is a conscious decision. Without an awareness of this choice our internal operating system frequently defaults to a negative polarity. It sees the problems, but it can't see the 'silver lining' because there hasn't been enough time for that to develop. This is a big reason for our resistance to change--our internal operating system is reacting to the problem, rather than recognizing the problem as part of a process. Does that make sense?
Q: So if we trained ourselves not to react negatively by cultivating a more positive outlook, do you think this would have an impact on how we feel?
A: It does. By changing our outlook we're changing our thoughts (actions)--which leads to changing how we feel. We haven't changed reality, we've simply made a different choice about how we're going to interpret our reality and this definitely affects how we feel.
S: So what can we do to change our outlook?
A: One of the best methods is to adopt some new thoughts. Hasn't this been our theme--thoughts are at the center of our actions? What we're talking about are new ways to interpret the events of our lives. We're not changing reality--just choosing how we want to interpret it. These ideas are based on expanded awareness. They can provide us with another angle from which to view our experience. I have found these helpful in my own journey, but you decide whether any of them resonate with you. The whole idea is to utilize thoughts that open us to the potential of growth and that produce less stress and strain in our daily existence.
Affirming Thougts
1. In each life there is destiny--living is the means to fulfilling it.
2. Accept responsibility for all that happens in your life. Make no exceptions.
3. Each day the lessons we are here to learn arise naturally.
4. We are never given a challenge bigger than we can handle.
5. Everyday, cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life.
6. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose.
7. Use the change in life to learn about yourself--how you react and why.
8. We all make assumptions; be willing to explore a few of your own.
9. Choose to believe that every cloud contains a silver lining.
10. Expect the best, but be willing to accept what is.
11. The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
12. Remember, as a man or woman thinketh, so shall he or she become.
S: It's interesting that we frequently think we want change. But calling for change, even implementing change, is different from the process of undergoing change. When we are faced with the fear and stress that change creates, we are called upon to exhibit patience and the ability to understand our internal operating system's reaction. This kind of internal control has to be learned.
Without an expanded understanding of ourselves, we are left to assume that the way we are is the way it is. But the way we are is based on the way we think. Our assumptions are the thoughts driving our actions. Without an understanding of how our internal operating system functions, there's little chance of changing our response to the experience of change. Yet, this is the key to our advancement and to easing our difficulty with change.
Key Concept: Developing a positive outlook aligns us with the natural flow of all things. It doesn't mean we won't encounter problems, it means we work at solutions with the positive expectancy that all problems, given time, find resolution.
Keeping a Journal
S: There is another way of becoming more aware of our thoughts. It's a powerful method for pinpointing our feelings and identifying our thinking. It may bring to the surface patterns of thought. But it's also a really good way of distilling mental fragments into fully formed, conscious thoughts. We're talking about using a journal as another means of revealing our thinking. The process of writing causes us to think about our thoughts. It's not uncommon to find ideas being expressed that we couldn't fully sort through in our head.
Q: Has anyone here tried writing in a journal? What was your experience?
How is a journal different from a diary?
A: It depends on what you choose to record. A diary may record the outer events happening in our lives. For example, "talked to so-and-so today, he or she was happy the sun was shining." On the other hand, to the extent that someone chooses to reflect on his or her thoughts in regard to these outer events, this is getting to the primary reason for suggesting we keep a journal.
S: A journal helps us explore the thoughts and feelings being generated by our internal operating system. It's a method for becoming more aware of how our operating system is processing the events of our lives. As we are increasingly able to clarify our thoughts, we not only become more attuned to ourselves, but we are better able to assess how we are reacting to our surroundings. This naturally puts us in a better position to evaluate our response and to change it, if we think it's necessary.
Q: When is a good time to start keeping a journal?
A: Anytime. But it may be particularly effective whenever we're faced with change or some other troubling event that we need to work through. If you find it effective, make it a habit--attempt to write something everyday.
Key Concept: Keeping a journal engages us in a process of reducing our thoughts to words. As any writer will tell you, it's not always easy! The value of this exercise is in developing a conscious awareness of the thoughts driving our actions.
Conclusion
These days we often hear that change has become a constant. But it should be apparent from the fundamentals that change has always been a constant. The difference is that today the actions of an increasingly populous world are generating the unmistakable perception of accelerated change. From an expanded view an increased awareness of change and the multiplicity of challenges that accompany it, make the perfect primer for the next stages of our developmental journey.
Although we often look for answers everywhere except ourselves, an expanded awareness of change points to the answers as residing in us. Only in developing more insight into ourselves can we find the answers that enable us to respond differently to the effects created by change. This means becoming aware and taking responsibility for the reactions of our internal operating system. To the degree that we are able to gain more control of our operating system, we also reap the rewards--from the new effects we create for ourselves, to the differences our actions create for others.
The quest to achieve more inner control is a gradual developmental process that exempts no one. It calls for patience, humility, and good judgement--three qualities difficult to achieve in the harried, post-modern society in which we live. But take heart, for these virtues are often cultivated through working to expand awareness of one's own internal operating system.
It's only in our own imperfection that we find the empathy to embrace others in theirs…
My sincere gratitude to all those who undertake this inner journey of discovery for themselves! DR
Note to reader: Thanks for reading! This is the last segment in the series. My hope is that something in this series has found resonance with you. I'm open to your comments, feedback and questions.
Copyright 2008. The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives. It is provided for personal use. I encourage you to share it with your friends. Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.
The Power of Positive Thinking
S: One of the patterns in our thinking is the tendency to be polarized, either positively or negatively. Now, no one wants to believe his or her pattern of thinking is negative. But let's face it, it's easier to spot what's wrong, than it is to spot what's right. In fact, anytime we perceive change the problems are usually fairly obvious. What's less obvious from the outset are any positive elements that may accompany the change. Yet, this positive outlook is expressed in an old saying: "Every cloud has a silver lining."
Q: How often do we recognize a positive benefit from a change that happened a while back?
A: Unless we're looking, it's unusual to notice any. But this is another way of subtly
working with our internal operating system. If, for example, we adopt a belief that everything happens for a reason and a purpose, we're training our operating system to look for the reason. If we look for an immediate reason it's likely to be negative. Remember that the positive benefit in any situation usually takes some time to become apparent. So clarify with yourself that you're looking for a positive reason and then have the patience to wait for it to show up.
Q: Why do you suppose the positive reason isn't immediately obvious?
A: The answer is in the fundamentals of change. Every change involves circumstances that are only revealed with the passage of time. In other words, every unknown becomes known over a period of time--"only time will tell." When a change takes place it takes time for any positive benefits to become apparent.
Q: How do we know there's a positive benefit in every situation?
A: The only way to know for sure is to start looking. The best kind of faith is faith that's earned. Prove it to yourself. Just remember that you have to give your internal operating system a new instruction. You're training yourself to look for something that's previously gone unnoticed. Be patient and yet firm in your expectation of a positive benefit and you'll know it when you see it.
S: It's easier to be a pessimist than an optimist because our senses are naturally focused on immediate problems. The programming of our internal operating system is heavily weighted toward the sensory input from our surroundings. Our interpretation of the immediate circumstances can easily lead to an unbalanced perspective and a negative point of view.
Example:
As a father I began to notice that my first response to my kids wanting to do something was, no. Of course, this wasn't the answer they wanted to hear so they would continue their quest for approval. After bearing the brunt of a relentless onslaught my position would often slip to "well, maybe." Sensing a crack in my resolve only intensified their efforts until I finally acquiesced.
Is this an example of bad parenting, habituated patterns of response or my dominant negative polarization? Maybe all of the above. But what I slowly began to notice about my pattern of response was the underlying thinking that drove it. I needed time to adequately evaluate all the ramifications of their request. My initial response of 'no' was based on not having had that time.
So after recognizing the pattern I stopped saying 'no' at the outset and instead said, 'let me think about it.' In changing my response I was able to convey a truer measure of my thoughts and as you might imagine, the kids responded differently too. 'Let me think about it,' leaves room for possibility, it's not a wildly positive, yes, but neither is it a flatly negative, no. This is a small example of how becoming more aware of our thoughts enables us to change our actions and create a new effect for us and the people with whom we interact.
S: The negative perspective often assumes that a positive outlook is naive--one isn't really seeing the world as it is. But this perspective implies its own interpretation of reality is more accurate. In truth, neither outlook is more accurate simply because both are based on interpretation. Instead, the question we ought to be asking ourselves is which outlook contributes more to a sense of well-being, and which contributes more to a sense of fear and anxiety?
S: Becoming aware of our predominant polarization is another means to gaining more control over our internal operating system. Choosing to cultivate a more positive outlook is a conscious decision. Without an awareness of this choice our internal operating system frequently defaults to a negative polarity. It sees the problems, but it can't see the 'silver lining' because there hasn't been enough time for that to develop. This is a big reason for our resistance to change--our internal operating system is reacting to the problem, rather than recognizing the problem as part of a process. Does that make sense?
Q: So if we trained ourselves not to react negatively by cultivating a more positive outlook, do you think this would have an impact on how we feel?
A: It does. By changing our outlook we're changing our thoughts (actions)--which leads to changing how we feel. We haven't changed reality, we've simply made a different choice about how we're going to interpret our reality and this definitely affects how we feel.
S: So what can we do to change our outlook?
A: One of the best methods is to adopt some new thoughts. Hasn't this been our theme--thoughts are at the center of our actions? What we're talking about are new ways to interpret the events of our lives. We're not changing reality--just choosing how we want to interpret it. These ideas are based on expanded awareness. They can provide us with another angle from which to view our experience. I have found these helpful in my own journey, but you decide whether any of them resonate with you. The whole idea is to utilize thoughts that open us to the potential of growth and that produce less stress and strain in our daily existence.
Affirming Thougts
1. In each life there is destiny--living is the means to fulfilling it.
2. Accept responsibility for all that happens in your life. Make no exceptions.
3. Each day the lessons we are here to learn arise naturally.
4. We are never given a challenge bigger than we can handle.
5. Everyday, cultivate a sense of gratitude in your life.
6. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose.
7. Use the change in life to learn about yourself--how you react and why.
8. We all make assumptions; be willing to explore a few of your own.
9. Choose to believe that every cloud contains a silver lining.
10. Expect the best, but be willing to accept what is.
11. The more you know, the more you know you don't know.
12. Remember, as a man or woman thinketh, so shall he or she become.
S: It's interesting that we frequently think we want change. But calling for change, even implementing change, is different from the process of undergoing change. When we are faced with the fear and stress that change creates, we are called upon to exhibit patience and the ability to understand our internal operating system's reaction. This kind of internal control has to be learned.
Without an expanded understanding of ourselves, we are left to assume that the way we are is the way it is. But the way we are is based on the way we think. Our assumptions are the thoughts driving our actions. Without an understanding of how our internal operating system functions, there's little chance of changing our response to the experience of change. Yet, this is the key to our advancement and to easing our difficulty with change.
Key Concept: Developing a positive outlook aligns us with the natural flow of all things. It doesn't mean we won't encounter problems, it means we work at solutions with the positive expectancy that all problems, given time, find resolution.
Keeping a Journal
S: There is another way of becoming more aware of our thoughts. It's a powerful method for pinpointing our feelings and identifying our thinking. It may bring to the surface patterns of thought. But it's also a really good way of distilling mental fragments into fully formed, conscious thoughts. We're talking about using a journal as another means of revealing our thinking. The process of writing causes us to think about our thoughts. It's not uncommon to find ideas being expressed that we couldn't fully sort through in our head.
Q: Has anyone here tried writing in a journal? What was your experience?
How is a journal different from a diary?
A: It depends on what you choose to record. A diary may record the outer events happening in our lives. For example, "talked to so-and-so today, he or she was happy the sun was shining." On the other hand, to the extent that someone chooses to reflect on his or her thoughts in regard to these outer events, this is getting to the primary reason for suggesting we keep a journal.
S: A journal helps us explore the thoughts and feelings being generated by our internal operating system. It's a method for becoming more aware of how our operating system is processing the events of our lives. As we are increasingly able to clarify our thoughts, we not only become more attuned to ourselves, but we are better able to assess how we are reacting to our surroundings. This naturally puts us in a better position to evaluate our response and to change it, if we think it's necessary.
Q: When is a good time to start keeping a journal?
A: Anytime. But it may be particularly effective whenever we're faced with change or some other troubling event that we need to work through. If you find it effective, make it a habit--attempt to write something everyday.
Key Concept: Keeping a journal engages us in a process of reducing our thoughts to words. As any writer will tell you, it's not always easy! The value of this exercise is in developing a conscious awareness of the thoughts driving our actions.
Conclusion
These days we often hear that change has become a constant. But it should be apparent from the fundamentals that change has always been a constant. The difference is that today the actions of an increasingly populous world are generating the unmistakable perception of accelerated change. From an expanded view an increased awareness of change and the multiplicity of challenges that accompany it, make the perfect primer for the next stages of our developmental journey.
Although we often look for answers everywhere except ourselves, an expanded awareness of change points to the answers as residing in us. Only in developing more insight into ourselves can we find the answers that enable us to respond differently to the effects created by change. This means becoming aware and taking responsibility for the reactions of our internal operating system. To the degree that we are able to gain more control of our operating system, we also reap the rewards--from the new effects we create for ourselves, to the differences our actions create for others.
The quest to achieve more inner control is a gradual developmental process that exempts no one. It calls for patience, humility, and good judgement--three qualities difficult to achieve in the harried, post-modern society in which we live. But take heart, for these virtues are often cultivated through working to expand awareness of one's own internal operating system.
It's only in our own imperfection that we find the empathy to embrace others in theirs…
My sincere gratitude to all those who undertake this inner journey of discovery for themselves! DR
Note to reader: Thanks for reading! This is the last segment in the series. My hope is that something in this series has found resonance with you. I'm open to your comments, feedback and questions.
Copyright 2008. The information here is reproduced from Everything Changes! Understanding and Dealing with the Change in our Lives. It is provided for personal use. I encourage you to share it with your friends. Otherwise the material may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way without written permission from the author, Dan Richardson.
Access: Public
